Get your sunblock out! and put cotton balls in your ears...

This is really a pattern... (no pictures in my blog posts).  It's ok, we're all grown ups, we can read also ;)
So today was 16C!!!!  That's SPRING people!

Now let's get into a time machine and travel back in time to March 2005.  This was the month I started blogging (thanks to my buddy in crime Cadiz!) Here is my first post EVER and also an explanation why Spring is "the best ever!!!" in the words of my 27 year old self.

In case you're wondering... no  I don't have any fresh thoughts to shed on the topic...  Well I guess I do.  Getting older made me realize that it's OK not have 'crazy energy', and it's OK not to be working towards something UNBELIEVABLY amazing...  It's OK to just lead quite life and enjoy little things...

Baaaaahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!   Boy did I get you or what!?!?!!!!!!!!    AAAAhahahhaah!!!! 
NO OF COURSE NOT!!! NO it's NOT ok to just sit there.   You must go after crazy exciting new wonderful things!  Yes, you can and should be content with all the beautiful little things (and big) in your life, but you should never put your 'hands down' and say "oh well, I didn't accomplish this and that, and I guess it's OK..."  NOOOOOoooooOOOO  GET off those sweet butt cheeks and do whatever it is you WANT!  Make your family raise an eye brow, surprise YOURSELF even.  

Yeah... I'm not grown-up yet.  I really have not matured what so ever.... Maybe in 2 weeks when I turn the big 35....  Maybe when I'm (hopefully a Grandma)... Then again.......  I DON'T THINK SOOOOOOOOO!

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SemprePrimavera explains Valentine's Day

Yeah it's way to early this Monday morning to be thinking about Valentine's Day (VD) but since I've been up for hours already, it's not too early for me to give an opinion.

Personally I think the whole concept is ridiculous! Having to be romantic on a particular day in a particular way basically negates the meaning of what Romance is!!! Romance is supposed to posses the three "S's": Sspontaneous, Ssurprising and Simply delicious! So I'm personally completely against this ridiculous thing that VD stands for.

However..!

We live in a society that places some kind of importance or status on this day weather we like to admit it or not. Ignoring the day... may just arise confusion. I remember my very first Valentine's with my very first boyfriend (at sixteen). I had the idea to take the day as a joke, so I gave him silly boxers with mickey mouse and hearts on them. His reaction: "oh no! now I won't be able to show your gift to my MOM!" Apparently his mom asked what he was giving me (which was a stuffed animal - why I don't know because I never liked stuffed animals) and would be curious as to what I gave as a gift. So basically Valentine's in our society is some kind of "show and tell" about what my girlfriend/boyfriend got me.

Now that we know the rules, we can play.

So:

Explanation: VD is a day on which you publicly confirm the fact that you have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Now that we know VD has absolutely nothing to do with the romantic feelings that you both have for each other, we can pick out the GIFT accordingly.

Figure out at what stage of the relationship you are in and what would be an appropriate gift. One that you can talk about with all the nosey relatives, co-workers or friends that are looking out for your best interest and want to make sure your man/woman is treating you correctly.

BTW have you ever wondered why flowers get delivered to the girls' office instead of bringing them to the house in the evening? Easy- so she can display them on her table in front of co workers. Duh!

And guys, as always "the bigger the better" rule applies, yes of course women compare.

In case you are wondering, yes I did follow my own advice. My gift can be easily discussed in the office, with friends AND (as I learned my lesson) with MOM also!

Made 'em myself obviously, first time too!

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The Laws of Attraction Primavera-fied.

Again and again we keep addressing the mystery that are men and why is it that the most illogical things make them SO attracted to us.

Have you ever wondered why girls that seem a bit dumb get more guys then girls that are smart and are not "hiding it"?? Is that why our grandmothers tell us to: say LESS and just smile MORE? Have you ever thought about what is the TRUE message of the statement "Women are meant to be seen not heard"?

Well we're about to find out. (Courtesy of SPHQRT - sempre primavera head quarters research team.)

First lets revisit the most basic and PRIMARY rule of human interaction.

Make others feel important

We all want to feel important, respected and good about ourselves. We like people who make us feel smart and nice, and we stay away from those that are disrespectful to us. Just simple logic.

If you can remember that you're already half way through the laws of attraction.

Lets see what Sugarbaby suggests, a cosmetics company whose philosophy is centered around "pretty, pink, princess" basically all things super feminine:

a) purr like a kitten
b) pout like a baby
c) glow like a peach
d) bathe like a goddess



Purring like a kitten is basically a way of saying make your guy feel important. When a cute kitten purrs and rubs its head against your knee don't you just feel loved? Even if you're not a cat person, you can't help but want to cuddle and play with the kitten. Same thing with guys, they need to feel that we like them. (Just note: this does not mean call them 50x per day, it simply means act all HAPPY when they call you.)

Pouting like a baby is yet another way to stroke a guy's ego. If you exhibit little girl/baby behavior it makes them feel like they need to protect you since obviously you're incapable. And apparently that's an attractive quality in a woman, being incapable that is. For that reason men seem to be obsessed with younger women, strippers, drug addicts... and poor girls. The need to protect, rescue.... in other words fulfill THEIR need to feel important. So if you're one of the unlucky girls who is NOT 12, stripper or a druggie and gosh forbid, have money, you need to artificially create the illusion of needing "assistance". Simple example: ask to be picked up and dropped of in front of your house (since public transportation is scary and you forgot how to drive your car). Don't ask for expensive things - that's not polite, but do ask for things that will inconvenience him on your behalf just slightly but enough to make him feel the "pain". The more he does for YOU the more important he feels. You are doing him a favor!

Glowing like a peach is straight forward: take good care of how you look, and smile more. Make him feel like his presence makes you - well, GLOW. After all... who was it that said "The world is simply a mirror that reflects back what you feel inside". People reflect back to you what you show them. You smile, they'll smile back. (Unless you're on Staten Island Ferry, then you'll get smacked in the head.)

Bathe like a goddess is even more simple, it indirectly states: Respect yourself and demand respect from others. If you want your guy to treat YOU like a goddess, you must show him by example of first treating YOURSELF like a goddess. Pamper yourself and he'll know he has to pamper you too to be on the level. "High maintenance"? ABSOLUTELY! Its not as much for us, as for the guys! What guy won't feel proud and (IMPORTANT) if he is able to go out with a girl who everyone considers a princess. "Wow, he must be something if SHE wants to go out with him."

Simple simple simple!

And as promised what does "Women are to be seen not heard" really mean? It is simply a plea from men to us women to please not show our intelligence too much as they're not able to HANDLE it!

Sorry boys, we'll keep it down so you can keep it up ;)

Note to all men: this post was not meant to be insulting, don't be pissed. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel important, and we WANT our guys to feel important because they ARE. We LOVE YOU GUYS! All this is just friendly and silly banter for entertainment! We'd be SO totally lost without you guys, you know that!!!

;) .....hehehe

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How to make yourself happy, secret REVEALED!

Looks like the middle of nowhere right? But its actually abt 30 minutes outside of Amsterdam.

How gorgeous and wild looking!

You know what else is gorgeous?

Yep, Nico was the nicest host and fed me and decorated just like I dreamed!!! (and outlined in an email)

Here at sempreprimavera we always ponder the true meaning of happiness, how to get it and where.

Well again, I must say that happiness is really something that you have to MAKE, choose, decide... see all the action words? That's the main lesson kids. Happiness requires work, well, movement in the very least.

You have to go and get it, and not to give up because you're lazy, uninspired, scared it'll never happen, but rather go, do, get. OH! and its not like once you find happiness that's IT. NO! You gotta go, do, get EVERYDAY. It's work that never ends.

The good news is: that anyone can be happy! and all the doing that you have to do to get it, is the kind of action that makes you happy even before you reach that ultimate "happiness". (Just think ice cream: while eating it you're already happy even before that satisfactory last spoon full ;)

Ever wonder why construction workers always seem jovial? Cus they're MOVING and not sitting on their asses in front of computers all day long. Ever wonder why you'd rather drive 30 minutes longer rather then save the 30 minutes but sit in traffic most of the way...?

MOVEMENT and just action in general will already make you happy. And it makes perfect sense, because there is more chance of you being happy or getting what you want when you are in movement, you simply cover more ground that way.

What does any of this nonsense have to do with Nico and Nicoland? Hmm... I guess I was just thinking that as magical as this whole thing seems and how it is magically making me so happy, its actually not very magic at all!!! It's just part of a very simple formula: MOVE YOUR ASS and MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Thank you, and tomorrow we will meet to discuss world peace and ending hunger, there may be some time left so we'll get started on global warming prevention as well.

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Darling, tea will be served on the balcony...

Honestly, I don't understand the big deal about women crying and whining how their husbands never want to help in the kitchen. I just finished reading this book "The Bitch in the House" and it really ANNOYED ME!!!! A bunch of women complaining how they do everything in the kitchen after a long day at the office and how they're tired and the men don't help.
















Amm... ASK the man to help, nicely, and provide CLEAR instructions (preferably in picture form) on what exactly you want them to do. I don't see the problem...!???!!!??? If he straight up refuses or some nonsense, then order in! You're tired, he doesn't want to cook, so DON'T, no one is FORCING YOU! I'm sure the men in these womens' lives would much rather forgo a nice home cooked meal if it meant having a relaxed WIFE next to them for an evening. Instead of an elaborate dinner with the angry "bitch" (as the cover of the book suggests).

But seriously, when did it become uncool for women to LIKE to cook!!??? MAYBE if women would be a bit more enthusiastic about cooking and didn't make it sound so horrible then the men would WANT to join in the festivities in the kitchen...!?

The book talks about how over time these women became angrier and angrier at the situation and turned into bitches. Sorry, maybe I'm young and naive, but why did they allow this situation to continue? If the water is too hot why keep your hand in it???? I think the reason they all became angry is NOT because they didn't get any help in the kitchen, but BECAUSE they realized that they are INCOMPETENT to make things happen for themselves, to figure out how to drive the situation in their own way.

Well...thank goodness I'm here...! I won't write a book, its not necessary but I'll just summarize it here in a few words:

And I realize we must go back to the VERY basics here but we'll do what we must...

First of all if you want anyone to do ANYTHING for you, you must ask NICELY!
(Works even better if you can make the person see that helping you is really for their own benefit.) Here are some simple examples to try at home:

1. Cook in your sexy bra and underwear... peek out of the kitchen and say: "uff baby its so hot in there!!! don't come in, unless you're naked, otherwise you'll be too hot" I want to see what idiot is going to remain in front of that tv set after that display.

2. Do it in the kitchen, and often. On the counters, on the table, on the floor... on the ceiling fan, etc etc. Just like Pavlov's dogs, men will be conditioned to get excited the moment they enter the kitchen... thus, will want to enter it often.

3. Dumb blonde act- Tell him you need his help, men love to be heroes. (BTW men, if you think after all those hours in the gym we honestly can't open that jar of apple sauce, you're deluded!)

Here are some easy starters: "Babyyy- can you come in here and help me... work the can opener pleaaaase...?" "Babyyy- can you show me how to set the timer... its beeping angrily at meeeee....I'm scaaared" "Babyyyy- I know you showed me this before, but can you turn the stove on again for me... I'm so confused..."

and in order to execute the dumb blond act correctly, after you get him to cook the entire dinner follow up with some serious banging. While saying, "Ohhh BABY! I don't know how I would have been able to cook that dinner if it wasn't for your help!"

Ok, so I realize that I've never been married, and the fact that all my boyfriends cooked for me could be written off as them just trying to show off, but logically... I think the above 3 examples would definitely accomplish more then nagging and whining!?!???!!! There is always a way out of ANY situation, you just have to find the right approach. If the door won't open by you banging your head against it... TRY TURNING THE KNOB!!!!

(ok, that last comment was a bit vulgar, heeheee, but its much more fun to be vulgar then to be an angry bitch. no?)

Happy cooking!!!

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Seduction at the beach...

Since we here at SemprePrimavera spend a ton of time at the beach, we decided to share some tips on how to seduce your guy while catching some rays.

Firstly beach fashion is a wonderful excuse to wear UBER slutty short skirts and having it be perfectly OK. So take advantage and get on with that mini. Secondly guys are attracted to all our "girly" stuff such as special lotions, balms, little cute boxes with mystery substances etc... etc... Why? Why simply because they CAN'T have any, and they want some cus all that stuff smells pretty and sparkles. They'll roll they're eyes at you as you brush your hair, apply leave in hair hydrating sea mask, but once you close you're eyes they'll be trying to figure out where the heck the aroma of freshly peeled oranges is coming from.

But lets kid ourselves too much, all that spraying and applying may raise some curiosity, but the sure shot will come when you pull out that long neck from a mini cooler!

Anyone got any other techniques? And guys, do YOU do any seduction tricks on your ladies that I should be watching out for??
Cheers and happy seducing!

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Men are like walkie talkies...women are like Blackberries

I go running with a friend of mine every evening at the nearby park. During which time we like to discuss the nuances of relationships, men, women etc... I draw on his vast experience (of being a guy) and he likes me to confirm his own theories on women.

Last evening...

Ale: Is it true that men can only concentrate on one thing at a time?

Tino: OFCOURSE NOT!!! That's so ridiculous

Ale: Oh, really? I thought just one thing at a time, like I was talking to Nico on the phone other day, and then all of the sudden I started feeling that he was spacing out... I asked him if he turned on the TV and surely enough he did!

Tino: Nooooohhh! Its not true, see I will teach you: us men, we are always doing too many things at once, that's why sometimes we seem absent minded.

Ale: Such as...

Tino: Like yesterday my girlfriend kept talking to me about something and meanwhile I was literally thinking about like 50 different things in my mind!! Then she got pissed that I wasn't listening to her! I was like, do you know how many things are on my mind right now!?

Ale: Aha... Ok, so basically you're saying you can't TALK and THINK at the same time... meaning you can't do two activities at once.

Tino: What! I just said, I was thinking about like 50 different things!

Ale: Yeah, that's ONE activity, THINKING. Doesn't matter how many things you're thinking about, its still just one action- thinking.

Tino: .....oh yeah................ oh. All right then, we can't concentrate on more than one thing at once.

Tino: Well, and what about women?

Ale: Oh, we can't concentrate at all unless we are doing more than one thing at a time. Like I can't concentrate on a phone conversation unless I'm also emailing someone at the same time, I can't read my Financial Times unless I'm also listening to music... OMG! did I tell you, I was in Long Beach this weekend and found my favorite brand of deodorant at the local pharmacy??!!??!

Tino: There you go perfect example we are having a conversation about one thing and you are thinking about your weekend trip!?!??!!! That explains why my girlfriend sometimes just gets angry at me for no apparent reason, she is probably thinking about something I did before... or maybe will do in the future... you guys are NUTS!!!

Ale: We are not nuts, we are just more advanced.

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Gold Digger!?? What's that??

Men are just so silly sometimes.

I was having a conversation with an old friend of mine about Gold Digging women. This friend of mine, who is rather rich (I think so) having various international properties, farms, and businesses, has actually has been through marriage and a divorce a long time ago, and currently is thinking about getting married again. He is a rather in shape, handsome kinda gentlemen in his early 40s. He definitely knows how to turn on the charm and I've seen him date a number of tall, skinny girls (models).

Just to keep in mind, he is not at ALL flashy with his money, though being around him for a bit, one figures it out. Anyway, he was complaining how all the ladies that he meets are very much interested in finding out about his financial situation. He went on to whine how NYC is full of either gold digging princesses, or gold digging non-princesses. So basically he just called all NYC women gold diggers weather they're rich on their own or not.

"Well, dear friend" I told him, "Not to be rude but if you're a 40 yr old man, regardless how handsome you maybe, if you insist on dating 22 yrs olds you should probably EXPECT that your money would be a pretty huge factor!"

"OK fine, but say I was their age, I am sure they would be into my money anyway!!"

"Honestly, I really don't understand why you are so bitter and aggressive about it? Isn't it logical that a person wants to find a partner with whom they can enjoy a certain style of life? In other words, why shouldn't pretty girls want to marry rich boys??? In fact, I think it is wonderfull that they know what they want and are honest about it with themselves! How unfair would it be for them to meet a nice guy, fall in love, marry them and then divorce them because of being dissatisfied after a few years since the life style is not as they expected?"

"Well if they loved the guy in the beginning, they should love him even if he can't buy them lavish things." Clearly my friend was missing the entire point...

"OK, that's the whole thing!!! You must watch what you're doing FROM THE VERY BEGINNING! Don't hang around with guys that are not of the financial status that is acceptable to you... one can fall in love with anyone, so why not a good looking rich guy!! If you know what you are looking for in life, and if it is a certain lifestyle, than you hang around boys with correct amounts in their bank accounts and fall in love with one of them!" DUUUHH!!! "That's not gold digging, that's called being honest and planning ahead. In fact these girls are doing the guy a huge favor! They're choosing to fall in love (or be with) those that can give them what they want! What's wrong with that??"

"Well that's just shallow!"

"Its not shallow its smart! Being together with a guy because he has curly eyelashes... now that's shallow! Being with him because he is rich (AND perhaps has curly eyelashes) now that's just smart."

"So would you want to marry a rich guy? And you would not consider a poor guy?"

"Of course! Exactly! Logical!" DUUUUUH!!!!!! "Sure, I would chose a guy who has a nice personality, and that I get along with, so that in case he happens to loose all his money there would be other good qualities to enjoy, but would I ever consider dating a guy that was below me financially? The answer to that is a very simple NO."

Yes women care about money. So what!? Isn't it logical and natural?? Women have "motherly" instincts and just like a tigress makes the tiger do it 300 times in a short period of time before she is able to conceive (thus assuring that she will mate only with those that will give her strong healthy children) the same way women want to be with someone with money. Money that will assure that their children will be taken care of and will get to go to stnooty colleges etc.. etc... It all very primal! As much as we think we have evolved... we really have not, things just have new labels now.

In fact men should be proud that their woman chose them using her head, and the fact that she is interested in their money shows that she is SERIOUS about building a life with them not just having a fun screw or two! Cus lets face it guys, having a big... you know what, while extremely important, is just not enough to build a life with.

So lets applaud all the "gold diggers" and congratulate them on being smart, serious women!
And last remark to my friend: "Stop whining and being a typical "guy" that wants women to lie through their teeth and say that they love you for your balding head and not for the fact that they you are a potentially great life partner! If you want a woman to lie to you, go to a whore house and request what you like. If you want to build a life together with a serious woman, print out your bank account statements while humming a happy tune! Hopefully you have cable so she doesn't have to wait to long for them to download!!!

Ok, kids, class dismissed.

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How to make a man fall in love. (So EASY!)

We here at Sempre Primavera headquarters work round the clock to research important and illusive issues. And once again, we are pleased to announce that we have arrived at yet another breakthrough!!!

Yes, today... we have arrived at some very VERY special info! After extensive watching of 70s movies with French babes such as BB; paying attention to what Marcellos, Alains and other sexy Euro-men told their hysterical co-stars as they inevitably left them standing in the rain with mascara runs...; after surveying tons of Italian guys in the hills of Tuscany...and amalfi...and lazio...and sardegna..... oh just stop me!....; and after reading a number of classics such as Anna Karenina and not so much classics (YET!) like Bergdorf Blondes.... and last but not least, we listened between the lines as Shakira sang about shaking hips... we have FINALLY figured out WHAT MAKES MEN FALL IN LOVE!

What IS IT THAT drives a man totally wild? As much as men like to insist that all they really want or need from a relationship is great "ice cream" in bed, what REALLY hooks them real deep (and of course we are in the big leagues here) is something else... Precisely that "something else" is very hard to define... but fear not! SPHQ is here to break it all down for you!.... in a simple.... 35 points...?!?... I know the list may look a bit too long, but I promise you after you're done reading it, you'll know exactly what needs to be done!

Men want/need/desire a woman... (in no particular order)

- who will kiss them and the next moment diss them
- who is JUST like their mother but is NOTHING like her
- wise like their grandma and annoying as their little sister
- who treats them like a KING and a bit like a stable boy
- who obeys them like they're God and gets seduced by them like they're Devil
- who is very beautiful yet insecure
- who is a strong independent woman yet needs them like there's no tomorrow
- who behaves like a Goddess and right after like she is Godless
- who is high maintenance yet down to earth and relaxed
- who looks sweet in a pastel dress and just as well with some whips and chains
- who is the embodiment of politeness and the biggest smart ass
- who tonight has a big round butt but come tomorrow morning it fits into jeans of size 1
- who is always agreeable yet knows how to throw a perfect tantrum
- who knows when to smile and when to fake a cry
- who shy and demure, yet aggressive at the same time

....shall I continue..?

- who is very smart but asks them for advice
- who can cook dinner better than a 5 star
- who can demand and say thank you very much
- who speaks softly and laughs really loud

uffff... i'm getting tired writting all this... and a bit dilusional... BOY I'm feeling a major personality disorder coming on.. OH I forgot the most important one!

of course:
- a woman who is always simply herself! (PROVIDED she is doing all of the above.)

Yeah... well.. I promised you that you will know exactly what to do after reading this... and people the real lesson here is that: SOMETIMES its - better - to - just - not - know!

remember!!! sometimes its better to just NOT know...!

good night- peace out cub scout!

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Tell me something I don't know!

I belong in a little 10' by 10' room where little men in white lab coats will beat me until I stop BEING LAZY get off my A$$ and do what the G## DA#*ED Starbucks Cup told me to do for F$%*S SAKE!!!!!!!!

Sorry for all that profanity, but it was needed. Here I am imposing Sempre Primavera HQ laws of going out and "accomplishing whatever your mind comes up with" (yes its right on the TAG LINE!!) when THIS IS PRECISELY the concept I cannot beat through my own head! OK, I am convinced that anything is possible but am I convinced it is possible to find the ENERGY and the DESIRE to go into ACTION!?!?

Lets read the D*mned tag line again:

Sempre Primavera - A blog about finding the energy and the desire to accomplish everything and anything that your mind comes up with. What exactly happens when you start believing that anything is possible??

OK, again, I'm good with the "believing that anything is possible" part... but its the first part, "finding the energy and the desire" that I cant get over!!!!!!

Now kids, don't freak out, your little cult leader is OK, everything is under control! All part of the plan!!! Whaaahahaha

....yep, I said it myself... i need a small room with short man in labcoats.... hmm... maybe I'm just pissed that the mothership hasn't contacted me in a while!!!! Bastards! To cheap to even send me some ice cream damit!

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Luck of the Irish?

We don't believe in Luck here at Sempre Primavera. As you may have guessed, Luck is not something that happens, its something that we MAKE happen. We grab it by its skinny throat shake it up a bit, lean into its silly little face and yell in a commanding tone:

HAPPEN!!!! HAPPEN LUCK!!! HAPPEN NOOOOOWWWW!!!!!

Luck pees itself from fear and panic... and than jumps up to go and "happen" ....

Haha, nooo we are not so vicious and violent here at SP, usually we just flirtatiously kiss Luck on the cheek, bat our lashes and say: "Ciao, Sexy... happen today!" But yes, if that by chance does not work on first try, you better believe strangulation WILL follow.

What the heck was I saying... oh yeah...

Being it St. Paddy's day and all, four leaf clovers, and green beer... luck is supposed to be in the air... and well that's just it! If you think its in the air than it IS. Luck is like happiness, everyday you must decide to be happy; and everyday you must decide if you want to be LUCKY.

So today's assignment kids, is to be LUCKY! (not "get" lucky, that's tomorrow's lesson!)

And if you want to gag from all this positive thinking than MY JOB IS DONE!!!!

I'm gonna go and be lucky now!
Happy St. Patricks day!

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Oh, how about this one... (Continuing on trying to classify men into a more "understandable" category.)

Men are like pairs of shoes....

The right ones can take you to new heights.

A really great fit can be very comfortable, on the other hand the wrong fit will be painful!

You gotta take care of them and keep em' polished.

Can't wear them for too many consecutive days because they will fall apart right underneath you!

Therefore, you must keep lots of spare pairs available on hand.

Alternate them to match your outfits and the occasion...

It is not a good idea to let friends borrow them.

No matter how much you love them, you always want new ones!

Hmm.. maybe this isn't such a good analogy either...

On to the other business at hand; this weekend was another MARATHON!!! And Dulce was good enough to take about 500 pictures to record every second of it! All next week we'll be featuring pictures and stories, glimpsing life on the little island of Manhattan.

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Men are like real estate.

You gotta grab them when they're just "up and coming". When they're like property in a neighborhood with potential, but the prices have not gone through the roof yet.

Once a man is established, has a nice career, a nice place to live, nice car and nice silverware... he becomes like HOT real estate. Highly desirable, possibly nothing special, yet with HUGELY inflated prices. Basically, he gets a big head about himself.

So, if you grab one that has potential, like with real estate property you are taking a risk... The value may go up, or it may not. If you wait however till he becomes hot, with all the fancy options, sky lights and 360 degree dining room windows... the price of getting this man maybe just a bit too high...

Also just like with real estate, you only collect your profits after the sale... (unless its a rental property... but that's a whole other discussion.)

Lets look at it another way.

Men are like cars?

You don't want a used one. You don't want one that's too sporty or red, as not to draw too much attention to yourself from jealous people (or worse, cops).

The value of your investment decreases as soon as you drive out of the car dealership...

hmm... maybe these two are not such good analogies...

Well then, what ARE men!?! Are they Fish? Meat? Milk or Wine?? What the heck do you eat them with?

I thought I had this question figured out 10 years ago, but apparently not, since lately I've been all confused.

Maybe I had "boys" figured out, but now that I'm dealing with "men" its a different game? Yet how come I don't see the difference?

Maybe now the stakes are higher, like before it was the boy with the cutest face, and now its the boy with the appartment in Ischia.

Maybe I just don't know what I'm playing to win. What it is I'm hoping to gain, or what I'm willing to loose... Maybe it really IS "me" and not them. ;)

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Please dear, do as I tell you... just for ONCE!

Here is a picture from el Avion Bar in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. (Yeah, I just thought I'd ruin your weekend... yeah.)

Anyway, tonight is my date with the guy Eye Candy has set up.

And here are a few words from Grandma who swears that if I follow her "guidelines" it'll be a guaranteed "slam dunk"... (she used a much vulgar frase, but I'm keeping it PG13)

1. Don't laugh too loud
2. In fact, don't laugh outloud... just smile
3. Don't look around, stare at other guys, make comments about other guys' asses, OR his ass... just look down at your plate.
4. Don't talk too much
5. In fact, try not to talk at all
6. Don't wear too much make up, but DO wear red lip close (re-apply often).
7. DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM, or make him cry! (DAMIT! there goes MY FAVORITE!)
8. Ditto for other patrons in the restaurant (DAMIT! there goes MY 2nd FAVORITE!)
9. Don't drink more than a glass of wine
10. Don't finish everything on you plate
11. SHARE your dessert with him, DO NOT grab his desert
12. Do bend down to fix something on your shoe and expose 3/4 chest for him
13. Act really embarrassed when you realize that #12 happened
14. Wear a bit of blush on your forehead, gives you a post-sex look
15. DON'T ask if he has any hot friends... DON'T ask too many questions about his brothers or cousins.
16. When complemented do not say "I know", rather say "Thank you" and look down
17. If he goes for a good night kiss, make it french.

OK, its not like I haven't heard this nonsense before... its just that besides #17, I was not executing.

Wish me a "slam dunk" for tonight... and feel free if you have any to add to the list, please do so!

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Tête á tête avec le grand-mère

I had a heart to heart with Grandma yesterday. I told her that the only way her matchmaking is ever going to work is if the guy is s-e-x-y. The problem with her set ups in the past is that she never actually MET these boys... so most of them really were a waste of time. They were ok, but just like a predator I would feel the impending crunch of their delicate little gazelle-like necks. For me if I feel the guy has a weak spot, I just cannot help it but to aim and destroy. Its just a reflex. I don't like super pretty boys, but he has to be good looking. And Grandma of all people should be able to understand that... since she hooked up with the town's playboy- Grandpa.

My grandma landed my grandpa, who was a real good catch back in their town. An officer, just coming back from war, flashing money and his dark, handsome looks. Ya know those kind of guys. My grandma on the other hand was very quiet and shy; a short little sweet blond girl. As she tells the story, she was so taken by Grandpa that she decided she just HAD to have him. Apparently it all started 5 years earlier, before the war, when she was friends with my grandpa's younger sister, and often would play over their house. She was 12 and he 17. He of course did not even notice her. And as he likes to chime in at this part of the story and fill in the fact that he was dating 20 year old girls at that time... (Grandma rolls her eyes, they insult each other for about 5 minutes and the story continues...)

So how did a shy, quiet girl land this rowdy, dark officer? (Who apparently was throwing money and hearts around, a very naughty young man he was.)

Simple:

She tortured the heck out of him! She drove him NUUUUTS!

When he would stop by her house in the afternoon to say hello. She made sure to NEVER be there, so he would have to sit around and wait for a while as she literally circled the block a few times and than made a grand swishing entrance with a grand surprised smile: "Ohhh, what a nice surprise..! how nice of you..."

If he didn't specify the time during which he were to take her out for some ice cream (the desert place was equivalent to the hottest bar/lounge at that time) She would get all dressed up and when he would show up, she would say... "Oh... I didn't know you were coming today... sorry, I already made plans with my girls..."

On the (rare) occasions that they actually DID get to go out, she would act very happy, smile and not talk much.

The day that he proposed, she had class in the afternoon (she was a university student). He wanted to go celebrate, but she made him drop her of at class and told him she'd see him after. Of course there was no class for her that day as she was very excited, so basically once he dropped her of, she went out the other entrance and walked home. But the point is she was always very striked with him...

I love hearing their dating story, because its amazing to see that after 50+ years together they're STILL in love, still getting jealous of each other...! (And the way they pick and insult each other is even more beautiful than the abuse that comes out a Tuscan's mouth during a Fiorentina soccer game.)

"So see grandma, if you want this thing to work, you gotta find me a good looking chap." - I told her.
Grandma paused for a few moments than looked at me and said:
"OK, here is what we'll do. I will arrange to take a look at him... and if he's good, you have to promise me to ACT exactly as I tell you on the date."
"Ohhh, this is interesting... I like-I like, I respect that..."

*Now just in case you are wondering how grandma knows all these boys, that's because my grandparents are very social, they go to more parties in a week than I care to go in a 3 months period. They pretty much know half the grandparents in the tri-state area... and well they all talk and discuss their grandchildren so there's where the reach comes from.

"So what do I gotta do?" - I'm beginning to have fun with this thing...
"I will write you a list, that you should memorize... I'm not wasting my time just saying it to the wind right now..."
"What..? Come again"
"I'm saying you have wind in your head, that's your problem."
"Waaahahahaahahahha! Wind...heeeeheee... my brain is getting cold... aaahha" - (me laughing)
"Ale, this is very serious, its not funny at all." - Grandma is serious, and assumed the role of a doctor about to perform life saving surgery...
"Ok, Grandma, we'll do exactly as you say." - Oh boy... this is going to be F-U-N! hehehehe

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"Hello... I'm having an emergency..."

I'm about to reveal something to you that will make you love me forever and ever!!!

You remember my plans of going to volunteer at an orphanage in Dominican Republic? Well that broke up- the site where the building work is going on got flooded so all trips are suspended at the moment... so I looked into my second choice, which was an orphanage in Mexico... well a big group was already signed up to go there and there was no more room for other volunteers. At some point in the process my friend Kaiya suggested we try Costa Rica, and we looked into a few orphanages there but apparently there is a WAITING list to volunteer at a CR orphanage since its a popular volunteer destination! I will definitely adress this issue later and much more indepth because I learned that the whole non-profit world is one big interconnected mafia! (TRUST me I WILL go into details a bit later.) But this isn't what I'm going to tell you that you'll love me for.

Basically Kaiya and I were left with no more options so we just booked a pair of tickets to Costa Rica last weekend and decided that we're going no matter what!

What we didn't realize is that apparently the ENTIRE COUNTRY gets booked up for the end of December. Not only is that time considered the "high season" it is the HIGH SEASON OF the high season, where not only a ton of tourists show up, but all Costaricans go on vacation as well! Ooops.

Well, nothing is impossible at SP (unless the non-profit mafia is involved) so I stepped up. As the result last week I've been doing some creative work... and I bring you:

The 5 STRATEGIES TO Getting RESERVATIONS AT A BOOKED UP HOTEL

First of all lets discuss a couple of givens:
- always use polite, happy tone - smile, they want happy people staying at their hotels
- be empathetically- "Yes of course I understand you hotel is completely booked, right, I imagined as much..."
- and don't take NO for an answer!

OK, here we go:
"The Confused Act" - just act really confused, your tone will throw them of and make them pay attention.

"The Repeat" - Ask for availability naming each date individually. After you're done with the cycle, REPEAT. Ex: "Do you have December 27 available?" -No- "December 28th?" "December 29th?" "December 30th?" ... "Ok, yes I understand, what about December 27th?" etc.

"The Call Back" - If the confused act and repeat didn't get you anywhere, hang up, and call back in about 20 minutes. Lead in with a story how you just booked a different place for some of the dates and have new dates you want to check with them. Than proceed: "The dates I now need are: December 27th, 28th and 29th"

The good old "Bait and Switch" - This one is good because it gets the owner to start saying "yes".
Ex: "Good morning, I'd like to book a room in December..."
"Yes, Ok, what dates do you need?"
"I need 27 through 30th"
"Oh, sorry ALL booked"
"Ok, well which dates you do have?"
"Lets see we have 21, 22, and 25 ONLY"
"OK, I'll TAKE IT!"

Feel free to call back in 20 minutes and say: "Oh, I need to change my reservation... There was a full week available somewhere else, so I'd like to change the reservation to Dec 27th, 28th and 29th"

The "Add on" -
You might have caught that I left out Dec 30th when booking earlier... that's because we can always perform the "add on". Book your reservation, if you still have a few days before or after the booking, feel free to wait 20 minutes and call back. Say you called everyone and you just need the one more day.

Now mind you, its possible that these worked because they all are boutique hotels and when you call you're usually talking to the owner or at least someone related. Not sure if these will have the same effect on large hotels...

I will tell you this. All hotels always keep an "emergency" room available. Even through the high seasons. I'm not exactly sure why they do it... but there is always at least ONE room kept open, its just a matter of being that person who will be awarded the "emergency" room.

OH, and there is always the sixths strategy for booking hotels during the high season... YOU CALL IN ADVANCE!!!

So, yeah, how was your Thanksgiving? :)

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Good shrimps and bad shrimps...

OK, so the doctor guy was a shrimp. He was short.

BUT its not really about the actual height, its that he LOOKED short. I do not discriminate against short guys, in fact, I had the biggest crush on a guy was was really short, but when you looked at him first thing you thought was "HOT!". The doctor guy.... first thing you think is just "short".

He did NOT have a plan of where to go! (So I suggested a tapa place near my office.)
That was basically it for me at that point. So yeah, I laughed really loudly and had my fun. Had two glasses of wine and ordered everything that had garlic in it. Olives with garlic, shrimp with garlic... etc...

Overall I had fun, and he seemed to have had a good time too. He dropped me off at my house, kiss on the cheek, and ciao.

See, eventhough I did have a good time, and it was a nice dinner... I still see the whole outing as rather pointless. I couldn't stop thinking that I was missing The Amazing Race!

Most importantly he is not someone that I would want to bring to any weddings with me... so as far as I'm concerned there would be no use out of this guy for me!

NEXT! (Get it? a little "doctor office" analogy.)

Lesson kids: shrimp and garlic is a delicious tapa for ANY occasion!

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Sexy survival guide to seasonal blues!

What a cute hat no?!

Just the other week we changed our clocks and now around 5.15pm it gets dark outside and wolves start howling at the moon... 5pm people!!! That's just persposterous! Though this is nothing new, however every year this change bites in a surprising way, and NOT in a good playful way. (SP child disclaimer: Biting is rude kids, and unsanitary.)

I'm sure most of you are familiar with S.A.D, Seasonal Affective Disorder, where you feel sleepy all the time with the arrival of shorter days. (Unless of course you live in the vicinity of the equator where there is perpetual fun in the sun... YOU all, in fact, are excused from reading this post, nah, stick around we may need your input.)

Maybe you have experienced some "symptoms":

• Feeling tired and sleepy
• Craving bread, cakes - carbs basically
• "Heavy" arms and legs, no desire to move around
• Winter weight gain
• Sleep problems
• Feeling sad or lethargic, lazy

If you said "yes" to some of these, don't worry, there's some hope left! :) Actually, if you experience these symptoms to a certain degree, it doesn't mean that you have mental problems or that you are "depressed", it just means you are TOTALLY normal! Because these symptoms are nothing more than a natural reaction to a decreased exposure to sunlight. (congratulate yourselves.)

With decreased sunlight, we loose intake of some important vitamins that we naturally get from the sun, (vitamin D) we start getting tired and sleepy early, wanting to eat more, which will add to your feeling sleepy. We eat more, and than sleep... a formula for "winter weight". Yeah, did you really think we were any more evolved than the bears??

All of the above makes us annoyed and we feel...um SAD. For no APPARENT reason too! This starts to frustrate us and enter the feelings of incompetence in managing your emotions, which in turn frustrates us further making us even more upset. (Makes us want to dip our hand in honey and get undercovers to suck on it for the rest of the winter.)

To avoid all these unpleasantries, the experts suggest:

• Watch what you eat - not too much spaghetti
• Take your vitamins
• Drink water
• exercise
• Try to get at least 20 minutes of direct sunlight each day
• Take a trip to somewhere sunny, or go skiing for a few days

This is all very good advice, of course, but what if you ALREADY do all these things!? As you should be all year long by the way. Fear not!! Sempre Primavera is here to instruct you! We're diving deep into the psyche to combat those winter blues. Drinking water is all good and dandy, but SP doesn't take any chances, we're bringing out the big guns!

Here is the official SPHQ (HeadQuarters) mandated list of procedures to be executed immediately upon discovery of foreign "symptoms" associated with seasonal blues. With the diminishing of sunlight our senses loose a lot of stimulation that naturally comes at them during the summer... flowers, colors, scents, light! So here's what we do:

1. Aroma infusion - get a new perfume, new candle scent... some orgasmic shampoo! This will help stimulate the sense of smell which can't go outside and smell the flowers anymore.

2. Lights - turn on the lights, light up every corner of the house, candles! (Kids, review fire safety.)

3. Lingerie!!! Get creative people, get something super sexy and naughty! There is just something absolutely energizing knowing that your bra and underwear are HOT eventhough you have like 50 layer of clothing on and a coat. And this includes guys to. Get some armani brief/shorts or something vulgar like black silk boxers. Its a well know fact that subconsciously nice underwear is equated with being prepared to jump into bed with someone at the very first opportunity. (figuratively speaking. right... of course)

4. Going along with #3 get your manicure and pedicure perfected. Eventhough no one will see those toes, (except for that hypothetical sexy stranger you'll be jumping in bed with) ready toes will lift your mood.

I've included some lovely photos for inspiration. (They're from the seasonal catalogue of Sax 5th Ave.) The blue sky is all mine though.

Funny how the guy is naked! But the girl let him borrow her furry hat, he'll be ok.

Lesson kids: Sexy lingerie is the answer to all your problems. Yeah! Now, go out there and do 1-4 and report to me later.

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What women want is a "capable" young man...

Ale: So what's the story with this guy you want me to go out with?

Grandma: He is a doctor!!!

Ale: Yeah, yeah... yeah...what else?

Grandma: He just bought his own house!!

Ale: bla..blaaaa...yawn...yawn... what else?

Grandma: Oh, um, he is doing some work on the house on his own.

.......Pause.....

Ale: Oh yeah... what kinda work?

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Nostalgia

All day today I've been having flashbacks about my time in Italy. The aroma of cafe latte, cornetto di cioccolata, whinny Fiorentinas gossiping about each other and giving foreign girls evil looks. (Don't worry ladies, we won't take your men for ever, we'll just play and give'em right back.) Aaaaa I enjoyed everything when I lived in Italy. Even silly mundane things felt new.

As I mentioned before I studied and worked there for about a year. Even though it was five years ago, that time period was so highly concentrated with experiences that it took me a good two three years to digest... Ok, fine: to RECOVER! One year for complete return culture shock, one year hating everything Italian in sign of "protest", and one year to finally get enough strength to look at and organize your pictures.

Coincidentally enough "Il Piu Bello" text messaged me today. We text once in a while and call on all major holidays, birthdays etc etc. I guess for me, checking up on him is a way of remembering that I really did have this "Italy" experience. (And making sure the foolish boy didn't get married yet... well, not until he serves as my date for the wedding in Italy!!)

Seriously, I may act all tough and sarcastic like I don't care, but the truth is that this Italy thing really threw me for a loopy-loop. I made a decision 5 years ago to leave Italy and go back to the US and have a "real" life; only to find out there is no such thing as "real" life. We MAKE our life.

I thought choosing to stay in Italy... working at an internet cafe and being in love with an italian boy (not il piu bello, a different one actually) would not be grown up, would be like ESCAPING real life... NOW I realize that leaving Italy to come back to the States was in fact exactly that, an immature escape. Do I regret not staying there? I did (year 1-3). Now I know that with my "brain set" back then it would have been a total mess anyway! If I was as "smart" as I am now, I could have done great things but I definitely was not at that time, so regrets are not needed.

The good thing is that I learned my lesson...

1. Always have a GOAL!
2. Always have a PLAN of how to achieve that goal.
3. Keep that Plan FLEXIBLE!!!!! (Realize that there are more than one way to get there!)
4. Listen to your instincts, even if they tell you to do wacky things.
5. Get plenty of exercise and drink lots of water! (To keep those instincts sharp.)

I sure hope I don't mess up again...

Kids: Lots of notes today, I know. Have them memorized for tomorrow, and don't forget to bring me an apple!

PS: Talking about messing up... Nicholas is going away on a long weekend, who am I going to play with at work!

**Check out more pictures that Mr. Christopher took in Florence, they're awesome!

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