Sexy survival guide to seasonal blues!

>> Monday, November 14, 2005

What a cute hat no?!

Just the other week we changed our clocks and now around 5.15pm it gets dark outside and wolves start howling at the moon... 5pm people!!! That's just persposterous! Though this is nothing new, however every year this change bites in a surprising way, and NOT in a good playful way. (SP child disclaimer: Biting is rude kids, and unsanitary.)

I'm sure most of you are familiar with S.A.D, Seasonal Affective Disorder, where you feel sleepy all the time with the arrival of shorter days. (Unless of course you live in the vicinity of the equator where there is perpetual fun in the sun... YOU all, in fact, are excused from reading this post, nah, stick around we may need your input.)

Maybe you have experienced some "symptoms":

  • Feeling tired and sleepy
  • Craving bread, cakes - carbs basically
  • "Heavy" arms and legs, no desire to move around
  • Winter weight gain
  • Sleep problems
  • Feeling sad or lethargic, lazy

If you said "yes" to some of these, don't worry, there's some hope left! :) Actually, if you experience these symptoms to a certain degree, it doesn't mean that you have mental problems or that you are "depressed", it just means you are TOTALLY normal! Because these symptoms are nothing more than a natural reaction to a decreased exposure to sunlight. (congratulate yourselves.)

With decreased sunlight, we loose intake of some important vitamins that we naturally get from the sun, (vitamin D) we start getting tired and sleepy early, wanting to eat more, which will add to your feeling sleepy. We eat more, and than sleep... a formula for "winter weight". Yeah, did you really think we were any more evolved than the bears??

All of the above makes us annoyed and we SAD. For no APPARENT reason too! This starts to frustrate us and enter the feelings of incompetence in managing your emotions, which in turn frustrates us further making us even more upset. (Makes us want to dip our hand in honey and get undercovers to suck on it for the rest of the winter.)

To avoid all these unpleasantries, the experts suggest:

  • Watch what you eat - not too much spaghetti
  • Take your vitamins
  • Drink water
  • exercise
  • Try to get at least 20 minutes of direct sunlight each day
  • Take a trip to somewhere sunny, or go skiing for a few days

This is all very good advice, of course, but what if you ALREADY do all these things!? As you should be all year long by the way. Fear not!! Sempre Primavera is here to instruct you! We're diving deep into the psyche to combat those winter blues. Drinking water is all good and dandy, but SP doesn't take any chances, we're bringing out the big guns!

Here is the official SPHQ (HeadQuarters) mandated list of procedures to be executed immediately upon discovery of foreign "symptoms" associated with seasonal blues. With the diminishing of sunlight our senses loose a lot of stimulation that naturally comes at them during the summer... flowers, colors, scents, light! So here's what we do:

1. Aroma infusion - get a new perfume, new candle scent... some orgasmic shampoo! This will help stimulate the sense of smell which can't go outside and smell the flowers anymore.

2. Lights - turn on the lights, light up every corner of the house, candles! (Kids, review fire safety.)

3. Lingerie!!! Get creative people, get something super sexy and naughty! There is just something absolutely energizing knowing that your bra and underwear are HOT eventhough you have like 50 layer of clothing on and a coat. And this includes guys to. Get some armani brief/shorts or something vulgar like black silk boxers. Its a well know fact that subconsciously nice underwear is equated with being prepared to jump into bed with someone at the very first opportunity. (figuratively speaking. right... of course)

4. Going along with #3 get your manicure and pedicure perfected. Eventhough no one will see those toes, (except for that hypothetical sexy stranger you'll be jumping in bed with) ready toes will lift your mood.

I've included some lovely photos for inspiration. (They're from the seasonal catalogue of Sax 5th Ave.) The blue sky is all mine though.

Funny how the guy is naked! But the girl let him borrow her furry hat, he'll be ok.

Lesson kids: Sexy lingerie is the answer to all your problems. Yeah! Now, go out there and do 1-4 and report to me later.


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