>> Thursday, April 28, 2005
Ok, I've got a delicious treat for you all today!!! Click here to see what WallStreet's behind looks like!!!!! She's so hot!
Ok, I've got a delicious treat for you all today!!! Click here to see what WallStreet's behind looks like!!!!! She's so hot!
Today was just rainy all day. And FREEZING. Well, I know, its because I insist on wearing light spring clothes already. Upon leaving the office it started thundering and there was lightning. So I guess I can congratulate everyone because it is now officially spring.
Still doesn't change the fact that it was rainy and cold... so to compensate for this incompetent weather I took myself to the solarium. And now I will cheer you all up by making you look at my new clothes!! (That's always a sight for sore eyes.)
My spoils from Europe.
Yep, all taken out of ZARA and MANGO. (Both stores are Spain born so the only two that sortof had decent exchange rates.) And that's ALL that I bought while in Spain. Can you believe it!!! That is so depressing!!
To keep myself from a complete break down I went shopping in NY, immediately and bought a few more thing.
This is going to be an angry post, not very much in accordance with the positivity that the "Primavera Movement" upholds... BUT, don't worry as always I will provide a solution to the situation! Because getting angry is OK as long as you provide a way to resolve. And as Phileas Fogg always said: "EVERY problem has a solution." For those of you who are not familiar with the book Around the World in 80 Days, you can consider yourself an underprivileged bambino!
(But I would rather suggest the cartoon version... and in the original French, is the funnest.)
So I was on a train today and EVERYONE was SOOOOO UGLY!!!!! Literally we had a pretty representative group, to include all the different nationalities we have collected here in NYC, and every single person was just horrendous looking!! It was as if there was an invisible velvet rope entrance but the bouncers were ONLY letting the uglies get on. (Presently speaking person - me that is- excluded ofcourse.)
I'm so glad that my current living situation permits me to forgo this whole subway experience! If I had to submit myself to this misery everyday, I would probably be singing a completely different tune. Instead of Sempre Primavera, it would probably be more like Sempre in the depth of the Toilet Bowl Era-- Please flush, and make it stop!! ------ BUT------ deep breath ---------- Thankfully I do not take trains-------
I personally think I'm unbelievably gorgeous, not to suggest that I think I'm better than everyone. NO, absolutely not what I'm trying to say. I'm simply saying that I'm happy with the way I look and my choice of clothes and when people look at me they say, "Ahhh, what a nice girl. She is cute, dresses nice, and her bag is hot!". And if they don't think anything positive well: "SCREW THEM, UGLY BASTARDS!!!!!!!" heheheheh just kidding.
Anyway, I'm not saying I'm the most gorgeous in the world (even though its true), and I definitely do not expect everyone to be drop dead gorgeous (even thought that would be nice), all I'm saying is that one should do at least the minimum preparation before stepping out in public. ESPECIALLY IF THEY TAKE A TRAIN WHERE THEIR UGLINESS WILL FIND CAPTIVE AUDIENCE!!!!! Ok here is a list to print out and glue on top of your foreheads:
1. take a shower
2 TAKE A SHOOOOOWEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. brush your hair, if you find yourself getting a bold spot, do NOT comb over just SHAVE the head.
4. Do not use perfume, unless you know what you're doing. (If in doubt - YOU DON'T know what you're doing.)
5. Shine your shoes.
6. Do not wear an outfit that is all black especially since all the articles have faded differently.
7. Do not look at me!
8. Do not talk to yourself. Do not talk loudly. Do not talk to your friends in a language that I do not understand. Do not talk to them in English either if you have an accent. ***(XPT IF YOU ARE BRAZILIAN, YOU CAN TALK ANY WHICH WAY YOU LIKE!)***
9. Do not get on the train if you're depressed. NO ONE CARES, NO ONE IS INTERESTED!!!!! Your sour face is not going to change anything in your life so don't be ruining my view of the concrete black wall outside the window!!!!!
10. Oh, and do not bring children! And NO, your kid is NOT cute!!! How can he be with a parent like you???
This is terrible, yes, but fear not Passepartout! WE'VE GOT A SOLUTION!
Going back to the idea of the velvet rope upon train entrance. We are going to have two types of trains: TypeA and TypeB.
TypeA: will be for pretty people. For morning commute time hot guy and girl models will walk around serving capuccinos. For afterwork rush time the train will be converted into happy hour carts and everyone will be served martinis and will mingle and admire eachother.
TypeB: will be a train system for all UGLY people. Trains will be equipped with monkey bars so that passengers will be able to comfortably search each others' hair and a$$ for live flees.
Mr. Blmbrg sir we need to get a move on this ASAP! Keeping ugly people from view will bring an immediate increase in economy of at least 27%, following by a yearly increase of 15% in the next few years! This will be accomplished because being surrounded by only good looking people will boost morale, increase productivity and improve overall standard of living in this soon to be great city.
Looking into the future we need to start building an underground city to be occupied by the ugly people, this will boost the economy further by increasing jobs and decreasing the high real estate costs!! ACT NOW Mr. Blmbrg, the future starts today!
Ufffff, I'm exhausted!
Yesterday at work, I spent 30 minutes discussing a certain project with one of my overseas clients only to realize AFTER hanging up that it was the WRONG client!!!! Whatever, Paraguay, Uruguay, same thing right!!?? Well the good thing is that the conversation was very positive (after the initial 5 minutes of complete confusion on their part) so this basically means that I got a whole new project! I'm so blonde, no?
Lets go to the root of the situation (haha, root, get it....).
My hair is naturally light brown. I guess "goldeny" in the sun. When I turned sixteen I gave myself a few blond streaks, and since I have light eyes they looked really fitting. I remember so many people complementing all in unison saying that I must keep the streaks for ever and ever!!
Oh, I kept them alright, and every year there appeared a few more, and a few more... Until last year I stepped out of my salon and I was almost all BLONDE. I just remember noticing that I was getting so much attention, I remember realizing that people treated me differently, they talked to me differently... everything was different. But see here is the question, was it really different because my hair was more BLONDE, or was it because I started acting like a BLONDE??? They say blondes have more fun, well I definitely started to behave like I was having more fun... so maybe the world just mirrored my new found blondness??? I still don't know.
Now is this "blonde" behavior or what:
1. Sometimes in my house I walk into a wall... and hurt myself!
2. Adding 4 and 2 I consistently get 7.
3. Once I forgot the office keys in my apartment and had to return for them, only to forget them AGAIN since I couldn't remember why I came back to the apt in the first place.
4. Can't spell the word "of course". I spell it "ofcourse", cus' ofcourse that's the correct way!
5. I go to museums... to use their restrooms.
6. Went hiking, climed up a mountain (a hill) and did not know how to get down.
7. Once was scared by my own shadow (actually more than once).
8. I give the same nickname to all the guys I date, so I don't have to learn and remember their names. What??... you don't think "hey you" is a cute name???
9. Ok, was just kidding about #8. I write down their names on index cards.
10. Finally I just use the blonde thing to excuse myself from following politics, news, and everything else remotely serious....
11. Oh, just now Wall street and I had an argument about English muffins being bread, or not. It is bread! She said they were muffins, well what's a muffin? Its a bread product!
All I know is eversince becoming totally blond, I feel so much more "myself" now the silly things that I always did are now called "ahhh, you are such a blonde, how cute" instead of "that was stupid, why'd you do that!"
So is being blonde something you're born with?? Or does it come upon you after you dye your hair??? Oh, gosh, I'm soooo, totally confused!
I'm going to go admire my hair in the mirror now!
Ok, people here is the answer. Everyone was correct!!!! in a way... Don't you hate me!! haha
Barcelona is going through a major "face lift" for next year and this formula is their way of saying how great Barcelona is. Now stay with me here... its their "modernistic" approach to say that all little things (the little "b"s) add up together to form this great big city of ours ("B" for Barcelona). There are also a series of tv commercials that depict different things that are found in Barcelona (that start with a "b" of course). The commercials ends with something along the lines of "how wonderful it is to live in Barcelona".
But it was fun to see how everyone interpreted it.
Waw! Today I left the office at 6pm!! It was so freakishly early that upon exiting the building I literally was a bit lost... I wasn't sure what to do with myself!
Thank goodness I quickly adjusted to the situation, as I usually do. Plus I had my co-worker, lets call her MariElena Fantozzi di Luca to give me emotional support. (What?... What's wrong with that name?? Her actual initial ARE in fact M.E.F., the di Luca I just threw in for extra gusto.)
On the way home I always walk by the Empire State Building and get to give dirty looks to the tourists in the ever present line to go up to the observation deck. **Just to clarify, by dirty looks I mean making very seductive, temptress eyes at the cute young tourist boys from Germany... Italy... and wherever else they all come from with their enthusiastic laugh and messy hair.** ***Yep... I'm a sucker for messy hair...and hook noses...***
Back to the point...
So, here we are walking along 5th avenue with MariElena Fantozzi di Luca, enjoying our early withdrawal from the office and there walking behind us this couple bickering in Spanish. Something about him cheating on her, and maybe if she wasn't so fat, he wouldn't be, or maybe it was about not getting the correct groceries at the supermarket, probably a combination of both I'm not EXACTLY sure. All I know it was SO ANNOYING! And if you're familiar with midtown after work pedestrian traffic you know that the flux of people is so thick that you have no choice but to walk with the mass, and people next to you will stay there for a good number of blocks. They kept arguing and arguing... I mean DON'T be with him if his actions are not satisfactory! If she is too fat for you, leave her! Why yell at a person to make them change something that they OBVIOUSLY do not want to change about themselves!! Or even better: Don't be with someone that brings out the qualities you never want to see in yourself!!
For example, my latest Ex did something that completely annoyed me. At that very moment in my head I said very calmly in the baseball announcer guy voice: "You'rrrre OUTTA HERE". Furthermore I did not even bother to inform him of this fact until there was an opportune moment to simply let him know that if he should need my help in MOVING OUT, I'll be available Saturday between the hours of 2 and 4.30pm. Why didn't I "talk" to him you ask? What's the point?? Just so I can become a nag? NO WAY, NO THANKS. The bottom line is, I did not like myself in the role of the nagging, complaining girlfriend so I'd rather say Ba-Bye than become something I don't find especially sexy. Of course he was completely shocked, and wanted to know what happened. "Its just not fun for me." I said. The truth. Why, how, when, what. Those are useless questions that would reveal even more useless details. That in the end will not change the result.
Ok, fine so the example above is one I'm proud of. I must admit though that not mentioned are the experiences preceding this one where I would in fact become the NAG or would get NAGGED and after countless tries to "work it out" it would end anyway. So why waste time?
Sorry, I keep loosing track of where this is going...
So after my poor Ex got kicked out (I even made him wash all the dishes before departure) I found his Maui Jim Sunglasses. He kept saying how they were these $500 glasses and bla bla and bla bla. For a guy who was a really casual dresser it was very strange to me that he actually cared SO much about the brand of his sunglasses and being proud with their supposed price tag. Ok, anyway. I on the other had AM a true brand name appreciator, (I have my lovely Chanels) so finding the glasses did give me some pleasure. I've never heard of Maui Jims but the fact that these glasses were so DEAR to him and now I had them was a nice ironic touch. I wanted to immediately tell him that I've found them, but the Brand Name Loving monster in me broke my fingers so I was not able to dial. I always thought they were girls' style anyway. (Maybe he stole them from his ex Ex girlfriend...) So funny enough today I happened to be wearing MY Maui Jims and decided to stop by this very fancy shmancy Optica store to "appraise" my inheritance. To my great disappoitment, the "GQ" guy dressed in all black with spiky blond hair said they were only about $250!!! And I almost believed all his romantic stories about the surfer who founded the company and bla bla and bla bla... and the moon along Hawaiian shores and bla bla and bla bla... Come to think of it he TALKED to much! That's why I love foreign guys, the language barrier is not a barrier really, I think it totally helps in making a relationship successful. The less they speak english the more successful it is.
There we go, an afternoon in search of truth went really well! At least now I know my stupid glasses are NOT worth $500. (Good thing I didn't compromise my personal beliefs and became a nag just to continue dating a boy with Maui Jim glasses... cus' of course that was a major deciding factor... of course). Oh well, I can always just wear them to the beach or to wash my car in... or something...
Boy, I bet with a title like "Searching for truth..." you all thought I was about to deliver something deep and meaningful?!! Ha, ha!! No fat chance buddies! If you are searing for answers to burning questions, I suggest consulting with Cadiz.
Happy kisses and NO NAGGING!
Um... the city!... Right... that's exactly what I was taking the picture of...
Yep, this is the scene of that wonderful afternoon in Barcelona in the company of 3 very nice Brazilian young men, large quantity of beer and green olives! By the way, I TOTALLY won the olive pitt spitting contest!!
Oh, and they're names were... check this out: Joao, Joao and Dudu!
"Joao" pronounced- (jWAW!) -- the exclamation point is optional... but if you had been there you'd agree that in this case, its imperative.
Even though they continually tired to convince me of being over 21, (I checked their papers, supposedly they were.) I still do not believe them being a day over 18 (hey, AT LEAST, for my sake). Both Joaos had disorganized curly hair and Dudu had a buzz. What is it with Brazilian men!? (Ok, in this case YOUNG men.) They're just so HOT! Is it the smile? The eyes, the way they talk? Is it because they're so... ehem.. "friendly"? Can some one reveal the mystery?? Or will I have to go through life trying to figure it out!!?? (..now that actually sounds like a great idea, considering the "test group"...)
My bashing Barcelona was more of an attempt to see the annoying negative things about Europe and Spain, mostly because I absolutely love going to Europe and would not change any of its good or "bad" qualities... it just wouldn't be the same. (Thus... abort operations World Done a la Ale... I repeat... abort and withdraw... 1...2...3... is this thing on??..?)
Back to the really important matters, such as the "Essential" Barcelona. First and foremost the street to be is Passeig de Gracia where you will happily encounter all the houses of worship worth visiting... such as Chanel, Armani... and so on and so forth...
Passeig de Gracia, Barcelona, Spain
This is where the entire city comes after work for their evening stroll. Its great! There are bakeries, cafes, and in some of the side streets you'll find tapas bars (not to be confused with TOPLESS Bars).
La Pedrera, on Passeig de Gracia
Barcelona's big thing is this whole Modernist movement and Gaudi's architecture is seen throughout the city. I'm not into history... (or another serious knowledge) so I did not get into the historical details, just stayed focused on shopping and people watching. Or maybe I should say STARING!? Honestly, what is it with Spaniards? They STARE. Other Europeans do it rather inconspicuously but in Spain its just so blatant its unbelievable. I kept checking to see if my fly was open or if my ear fell of and I didn't notice...but everything seemed in place and they were still staring!!! They stared as if I was a monkey in the zoo! Or... wait... I'd rather say: They stared LIKE MONKEYS in the Zoo! (Ok, that's a better expression.)
Important Modernist Stuff...
I think this is such a hot building, all the aspiring photographers were lined up taking its picture with their tripods. Sexy photographers by the way. To bad no one lives there, its a museum, right Cadiz? I tried to zoom in as close as possible with my camera but still couldn't see any people changing in the windows so I'm assuming its a museum.
Here is my attempt at being a "sexy photographer". How am I doing? Hehe
I wasted 5 shopping minutes to walk all the way around the corner to get this side. Oh, and you're supposed to be noticing the wrought iron balconies.
To interrupt my usual carrying on... I want to introduce to everyone the LOVELY, the TALENTED, the WONDERFUL and the BRILLIANT, the one and OOOONLLLLY.... KAAAAAAIYA! Her link is now featured on MY list so please click and enjoy her very picturesque world.
Good morning my beautiful people!! I made a phone call to make sure the sun will be shining all day just for you! (You’re welcome, - don't say I never do anything for you.)
Today I say ENOUGH of this Europe “nostalgia” nonsense!! Lets look at things the way they REEEAAALY are! So the following will be a Barcelona Bashing Session followed by WORLD DONE RIGHT where I, Ale, will write down exact instructions on how to improve this land of Barcelona (YES, thanks to me, there is still hope for them.)
Saturday, April 2
After my euphoric moment by the atm machine, in which my victory over the machine was belittled by the heinous exchange rate, I headed directly towards the taxi stand to proceed on my way to hotel. Common Spain, lets get this one right at least…
Taxi drivers… hmmm, they’re the same all over the world I guess, I mean cabbies in NY still think they will be able to cheat you, even though you’re a native. So here in Barcelona, what follows is a perfect example of roles reversed. (Ale style! Or a la Ale) When we arrived, and since my hotel was sort of in the suburbs of Barcelona, the taxi driver decided to humor himself by telling me that I sure picked a hotel far from the center. “No kidding Sherlock! Ya think there’s a good reason for that!? Like, I’M NOT PAYING FOR THIS”. Whatever- I decided to let this smug comment fly AND the fact that he pressed some extra thing on his meter and now my fare jumped from 15 euros to 20! What the heck is that about… good thing I read all the gossip on the internet where they warn you to go by the first number that is read on the meter and not by the “second” one that magically appears after the driver messes with it. Once again WHATEVER (I’m not paying…. Furthermore I decide to leave him a tip, cause I’m in Europe and I’m happy or some nonsense like that.) So, are you ready for this? I hand him a 20 euro note and a 10 euro note and ask him to make change for me for the 10 euro (so I can give him a 2 eruo tip). He gets all confused and stuff and gives me two 5 euro notes and I take them but say can you give me change in ones? And he is still confused about WHY I’m asking him for change and why this and why that… and we ended up passing back and forth the 20 euro note, and so on and so forth. I finally decide the HECK with the tip, I’m wasting precious shopping time and decide to just leave him with the 20 euro note and be done. So I say ok, fine, no change is necessary I’ll just take my extra 10 euro note back and – Muchas GraTHias. So I take the 10 euro back and through the glass doors into the hotel…
Did any one notice what happened?? (Is anyone still awake?) Well what happened was, I got the two 5 euro notes form the driver initially and than my own 10 euros back from him at the end! Result: he tried to cheat me 5 euros, I cheated him out of 10 euros = Ale wins by a grand total of 5 euros! **Pulling one over a taxi driver in a foreign country = PRICELESS**
Now this is what I call a la Ale! Honestly now for all of you that are disguasted by my actions… I have to say this was a TOTAL ACCIDENT!!! This is why it’s a la Ale, because I so did NOT even plan it… it just happened! The force of Primavera is with me!!! I don’t believe in taking money away from taxi drivers (even after they did try to rip me off). They work hard, and are probably underpaid… therefore if I get ripped off by them, OH WELL that’s how it is.
Saturday, April 2
Arriving in Spain was weird. I always get this "feeling" when I get off the plane in Europe. Its a feeling that just appears out of nowhere and I have no idea why or what it represents. Its really a misture of feeling something very familiar... returning to your hometown that you haven't visited in years and remembering everything that you've managed to forget... I don't know, its just this strange yet familiar sensation that takes you by surprise and makes you think that maybe there is much more to you than you can ever imagine.
This feelings is scary sometimes because you just want more and more of it. You want to find out what is it that triggers these "memories", memories of things that you've actually never experienced. Its a mystery, and it can become a drive that takes over your life.
For some people that experience it, life is never the same... they drop everything in search of answers... I know many of these people. They're spead all over the world, speaking languages that are foreign to them and realizing that they can express themselves best in them... They cook exotic foods and are comforted by them as if their grandmothers were the ones to cook them first. I know this feeling very well. I am also one of those people who supressed it, who hid it, and who returned to her "real" life... only to realize that the "real" life will never be the same again.
Ok, I'm done with the mushy stuff-- for now--
So Saturday morning as I came out of the plane in Madrid, I remembered that in Spain the sweet smell of European cigarettes is the fist thing that hits you. Waw, even in Italy it is "officially" forbidden to smoke in airports, people still do, and then the sexy Carabinieri boys come over and shake their heads at you, and than ask to take you out. But in Spain there are still these "smoking stations". Wild!
Like a pro I went straight to the atm machine and got my first 100 Euros out. After a brief moment of exsiliration that it worked! I realized the depressing part of this situation: 100 euros = $130 dollars, how depressing!!!
to be continued... oh, and my very "professional" pictures are comming too...
the secret "formula"
Now I would like to extend this challenge to all you math wizards out there... Is this some kind of a new formula??? That I've never had the pleasure of learning? (Actually I tried to put the horrors of math out of mind as soon as possible.) So if any one can tell me what this means you'll get... I don't know, I'll take suggestions...
Hint: this little banner hang all over the city of Barcelona
Official game rules: do not go snooping around the internet to find out what this formula means, the way to play is just to look at the formula and figure out what it could mean using only the hint above.
Thank you for playing and I'll reveal the answer next week! hehehe
Important and old gothic stuff
Here is a picture of the cathedral. Some of the pictures you'll see are actually from the official Barcelona website (which is very nice btw). Well its because most of the historical sites are currently under renovation! So they're covered in scaffolding (lucky for you that you won't have to deal with my "photography" skills).
You know how the entire Europe did mega renovation for the opening of the Milleneum? Well apparently Spain just woke up from a siesta and decided to join the bunch. Buenos Dias! Rise and shine!!
Hello my beautiful people!
I'm jetlagging badly right now... always happens comming back to this side of the ocean. I'm sleeping normally but my eating times are all screwed up. Like today I ate dinner for breakfast. Maybe I'll have breakfast for lunch...? What do you think? hehe
Anyway, this is what's going to happen for the next few days: I'll write my Barcelona stuff in a different color so it will be clear where is what. Actually I was going to post something yesterday but than as I hit "publish" blogger totaly flaked out on me!!! Sucks, it was really long and winded (as always).
Friday, April 1st
I really did have the very best intentions on getting everything work related accomplished so I can just sit there and enjoy the "anticipation" but nope, ofcourse I was still running around as my white limo (jsut a town car this time) was frantically calling my cellphone form downstairs.
On the way there the driver and I discussed everything from NYC lifestyle, to real estate market (he is shopping for a condo in Miami), to the politics in Cuba... to resolving world hunger and the operations of the World Bank. It was deffinitely a productive 45 minutes.
Talking about productivity, I'm happy to say that I did pack myself correctly for the trip. I will now reveal the 10 things that you absolutely cannot leave out when traveling! Business or pleasure, you need these items:
1. Advils (or any other headache medicine you trust) - for when you need to get over a nasty hangover headache.
2. Eye drops - for when you need to get rid of the red eyes that WILL devolope due to lack of sleep... due to going out partying, drinking, and performing any other sleep depriving activities.
3. Eyepatch covers (however you call them) - a must have if you plan on sleeping on the plane.
4. Travel friendly manicure set - the so will take away your metal filer!! so make alternative arrangements.
5. Lip gloss - so you walk out of the plane as cute as possible, every second in a foreign country is a chance to have a foreign fling!
6. Tri band cellphone- cus you need to start calling someone as soon as the plane lands and the anoying seatbelt sign "...is turned off and the doors are opened..." yeah yeah...
7. Locion - airplanes are the number 1 cause of dry skin
8. Credit cards/bank cards - this is trickier than you think as you'll see below...
I spent quite a few minutes calling all my credit cards and bank atm cards because if you don't report the fact that you are traveling they WILL shut your cards off!! TRUST ME! Someone actually does monitor what you're doing with your cards, and if they see "strange" behavior they will shut your card down for "security protection purposes untill further investigation confirms the legitimacy of transactions". It's a good thing, if your card is actually stolen and someone is trying to buy farm equipment somwhere in Missuri, but it totally sucks when you're in the middle of a very important Furla bag purchase in Milan!! So I called to advise them not to be alarmed if they see "uncarachteristic and unpreceedented usage" (their terms not mine). Furthermore! Going forward they need to consider withdrawals of large sums in any of the European Union member countries a VERY carachteristic usage!! OK!?!!!
There that said and done, I was finally at the airport, at the Iberia counter. By the way, what's up with the uniforms??? The mens' are OK, but the womens' ones are completely hidious! They look like cow milking girls from somewhere in Eastern Europe!! Anyway, at that point however I was distracted because this very cute 17 year old (he looked 17) checked me in... as I checked him out... than he directed me to my gate as I continued to stare right at him. He had a beauty mark on his cheek... he had this Enrique Iglesias thing going on. Ahhh, the silly 10 year difference cannot stand in the way of true love like this!!! Excuse me..When is your 18th birthday?? and where are your parents?
To be continued...
I'm back, so everyone can stop missing me now. I was VERY happy to find sunshine and reasonably warm weather upon my exiting the airport. However I'm still a bit confused about the location (or not location) of my red carpet!! It's ok though I wasn't looking too much like red carpet material.
Tomorrow I'll be taking it easy so I'll have time to tell you some stories. Yes I have pictures too, not too many but enough for my show and tell. I'm a little sad, which I think is a reflex I've developed every time I come back from Europe.
Ok, a nice long bubble bath is waiting for me... haha, actually there is a story I have from Barca about bubble baths... hmhm