Tête á tête avec le grand-mère

>> Sunday, January 29, 2006

I had a heart to heart with Grandma yesterday. I told her that the only way her matchmaking is ever going to work is if the guy is s-e-x-y. The problem with her set ups in the past is that she never actually MET these boys... so most of them really were a waste of time. They were ok, but just like a predator I would feel the impending crunch of their delicate little gazelle-like necks. For me if I feel the guy has a weak spot, I just cannot help it but to aim and destroy. Its just a reflex. I don't like super pretty boys, but he has to be good looking. And Grandma of all people should be able to understand that... since she hooked up with the town's playboy- Grandpa.

My grandma landed my grandpa, who was a real good catch back in their town. An officer, just coming back from war, flashing money and his dark, handsome looks. Ya know those kind of guys. My grandma on the other hand was very quiet and shy; a short little sweet blond girl. As she tells the story, she was so taken by Grandpa that she decided she just HAD to have him. Apparently it all started 5 years earlier, before the war, when she was friends with my grandpa's younger sister, and often would play over their house. She was 12 and he 17. He of course did not even notice her. And as he likes to chime in at this part of the story and fill in the fact that he was dating 20 year old girls at that time... (Grandma rolls her eyes, they insult each other for about 5 minutes and the story continues...)

So how did a shy, quiet girl land this rowdy, dark officer? (Who apparently was throwing money and hearts around, a very naughty young man he was.)


She tortured the heck out of him! She drove him NUUUUTS!

When he would stop by her house in the afternoon to say hello. She made sure to NEVER be there, so he would have to sit around and wait for a while as she literally circled the block a few times and than made a grand swishing entrance with a grand surprised smile: "Ohhh, what a nice surprise..! how nice of you..."

If he didn't specify the time during which he were to take her out for some ice cream (the desert place was equivalent to the hottest bar/lounge at that time) She would get all dressed up and when he would show up, she would say... "Oh... I didn't know you were coming today... sorry, I already made plans with my girls..."

On the (rare) occasions that they actually DID get to go out, she would act very happy, smile and not talk much.

The day that he proposed, she had class in the afternoon (she was a university student). He wanted to go celebrate, but she made him drop her of at class and told him she'd see him after. Of course there was no class for her that day as she was very excited, so basically once he dropped her of, she went out the other entrance and walked home. But the point is she was always very striked with him...

I love hearing their dating story, because its amazing to see that after 50+ years together they're STILL in love, still getting jealous of each other...! (And the way they pick and insult each other is even more beautiful than the abuse that comes out a Tuscan's mouth during a Fiorentina soccer game.)

"So see grandma, if you want this thing to work, you gotta find me a good looking chap." - I told her.
Grandma paused for a few moments than looked at me and said:
"OK, here is what we'll do. I will arrange to take a look at him... and if he's good, you have to promise me to ACT exactly as I tell you on the date."
"Ohhh, this is interesting... I like-I like, I respect that..."

*Now just in case you are wondering how grandma knows all these boys, that's because my grandparents are very social, they go to more parties in a week than I care to go in a 3 months period. They pretty much know half the grandparents in the tri-state area... and well they all talk and discuss their grandchildren so there's where the reach comes from.

"So what do I gotta do?" - I'm beginning to have fun with this thing...
"I will write you a list, that you should memorize... I'm not wasting my time just saying it to the wind right now..."
"What..? Come again"
"I'm saying you have wind in your head, that's your problem."
"Waaahahahaahahahha! Wind...heeeeheee... my brain is getting cold... aaahha" - (me laughing)
"Ale, this is very serious, its not funny at all." - Grandma is serious, and assumed the role of a doctor about to perform life saving surgery...
"Ok, Grandma, we'll do exactly as you say." - Oh boy... this is going to be F-U-N! hehehehe


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