My hero!

>> Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Just another proof that younger men rock! (Hard)
As usual, I drove to the beach early Saturday morning to go running. It was a gorgeous day, pretty clouds, light breeze, just perfect! I parked, and was just standing near the car to change from my flip flops into sneakers and this ugly, UGLY bug flew into the open windows of the car and wedged itself into the corner between the dashboard and the glass.


I don't fear anything (of course not), except for ugly insects!!!!! Now I stress: UGLY insects. Cute insects I have NO problem with. Like, ladybugs, little ants, (I think of the cartoon Bugs), even daddy long legs spiders are OK. But weird ugly looking bugs, that make noises and fly in a weird disorderly fashion I just cannot stand.

This bug was SO UGLY. It was like grayish black, had a weird rectangular body... with weird mass of wings... I'm cringing right now as I write this. It made a buzzing noise when it flew, and its flight patterns were very unpredictable. Plainly speaking it seemed drunk of its ass. The stupid thing kept flying around bumping into the window, the ceiling... it was just a mess!

After the initial 10 minutes of being disgusted watching it behave stupidly in my car... I opened (quickly) all the windows and doors hoping that it would have enough sense to fly out. (Although by the looks of it, this bug did not promise intelligence.) Anyway, it did not leave, but just alternated between the left and the right wedge of the dashboard. Ewwwewww!

I tried poking at it with some LONG twigs that I found near by, but it did not help. It would just buzz angrily, and I swear it was giving me dirty looks with its red, bloodshot eyes. I knew I needed backup... Looking around I spotted a nice young gentleman sitting on the railing of the "Beach staff" hut. I guess he was waiting for his shift to start or something. I marched all the way across the parking lot and asked him if he had a minute to help me with a certain situation with my car. To which he should have replied: "My mommy says not to go to cars with strange ladies... But no, the lad came along.

As we walked to my car, I explained the graveness of this problem and the degree of ugliness of the bug. He listened very attentively, not once giving me the condescending look as if to say- you silly little girl, scared of an iti-bitti bug. He even said it was a good idea that I called him over because they just recently were trained on the various new breeds of insects for the long island area that can be harmful and he would be able to identify it. Awww, soooo smart! (And a good way to make me feel ok about going nuts over some stupid bug.)

At the car he carried himself as a real knight in shining armor (as I stood WAAY back). He almost bare handedly exiled the offensive insect out of my vehicle in under 10 seconds.
Thaaank you, thank you thaaaank you!!! I sang while clapping my hands in a "rescued damsel in distress type way". He blushed, and said it was NO PROBLEM! Awwww, sooo cute!

Lesson to all ladies: Younger men are just better!

Younger men try to impress you, while older guys expect you to be impressed.
Younger men will treat you like a princess, older men will treat you like their maid.
Younger men assume that you are smarter, older men will NEVER admit you know something that they don't.

Older men (and by that I mean more than 3 yrs older) are just annoying. Its just all over for me when they begin to give me the lecture informing me that the sky is in fact blue. WAAAW, REALLY??? you don't say!?! So annoying. My personal favorite-- when they try to translate the italian menu for me.

Lesson to older men: Honeys, NOTHING that you say or do will impress the girl. (don't flatter yourself thinking that it might.) What WILL impress her is seeing you genuinely TRY to impress her. In our minds we are laughing at you the moment you open your mouth! So the only favor you can do yourself is not to sound so self assured- at least that way you have a shot at looking LESS silly.

Younger men: You're great. Please submit photos, and a brief paragraph to Sempreprimavera HQ at - Thanks-

p.s. I'm not in a bad mood or anything... just teaching everyone how to live, yet again- you're welcome! :)


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