Darling, tea will be served on the balcony...

>> Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Honestly, I don't understand the big deal about women crying and whining how their husbands never want to help in the kitchen. I just finished reading this book "The Bitch in the House" and it really ANNOYED ME!!!! A bunch of women complaining how they do everything in the kitchen after a long day at the office and how they're tired and the men don't help.
















Amm... ASK the man to help, nicely, and provide CLEAR instructions (preferably in picture form) on what exactly you want them to do. I don't see the problem...!???!!!??? If he straight up refuses or some nonsense, then order in! You're tired, he doesn't want to cook, so DON'T, no one is FORCING YOU! I'm sure the men in these womens' lives would much rather forgo a nice home cooked meal if it meant having a relaxed WIFE next to them for an evening. Instead of an elaborate dinner with the angry "bitch" (as the cover of the book suggests).

But seriously, when did it become uncool for women to LIKE to cook!!??? MAYBE if women would be a bit more enthusiastic about cooking and didn't make it sound so horrible then the men would WANT to join in the festivities in the kitchen...!?

The book talks about how over time these women became angrier and angrier at the situation and turned into bitches. Sorry, maybe I'm young and naive, but why did they allow this situation to continue? If the water is too hot why keep your hand in it???? I think the reason they all became angry is NOT because they didn't get any help in the kitchen, but BECAUSE they realized that they are INCOMPETENT to make things happen for themselves, to figure out how to drive the situation in their own way.

Well...thank goodness I'm here...! I won't write a book, its not necessary but I'll just summarize it here in a few words:

And I realize we must go back to the VERY basics here but we'll do what we must...

First of all if you want anyone to do ANYTHING for you, you must ask NICELY!
(Works even better if you can make the person see that helping you is really for their own benefit.) Here are some simple examples to try at home:

1. Cook in your sexy bra and underwear... peek out of the kitchen and say: "uff baby its so hot in there!!! don't come in, unless you're naked, otherwise you'll be too hot" I want to see what idiot is going to remain in front of that tv set after that display.

2. Do it in the kitchen, and often. On the counters, on the table, on the floor... on the ceiling fan, etc etc. Just like Pavlov's dogs, men will be conditioned to get excited the moment they enter the kitchen... thus, will want to enter it often.

3. Dumb blonde act- Tell him you need his help, men love to be heroes. (BTW men, if you think after all those hours in the gym we honestly can't open that jar of apple sauce, you're deluded!)

Here are some easy starters: "Babyyy- can you come in here and help me... work the can opener pleaaaase...?" "Babyyy- can you show me how to set the timer... its beeping angrily at meeeee....I'm scaaared" "Babyyyy- I know you showed me this before, but can you turn the stove on again for me... I'm so confused..."

and in order to execute the dumb blond act correctly, after you get him to cook the entire dinner follow up with some serious banging. While saying, "Ohhh BABY! I don't know how I would have been able to cook that dinner if it wasn't for your help!"

Ok, so I realize that I've never been married, and the fact that all my boyfriends cooked for me could be written off as them just trying to show off, but logically... I think the above 3 examples would definitely accomplish more then nagging and whining!?!???!!! There is always a way out of ANY situation, you just have to find the right approach. If the door won't open by you banging your head against it... TRY TURNING THE KNOB!!!!

(ok, that last comment was a bit vulgar, heeheee, but its much more fun to be vulgar then to be an angry bitch. no?)

Happy cooking!!!

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