Horror on the Staten Island Ferry

>> Monday, August 22, 2005


There has been a terrible CRIME committed against humanity this morning! OK, I know we are sadly not in the placid times when a statement like this causes a stir. Nevertheless, this morning on the Ferry I have lived through something so heinous that it hurts to have to go back to that awful place as I write this...

I along with a number of fellow commuters have been so grossly, atrociously, victimized I can't even begin to describe the pain caused!!! The pain, confusion, FEAR!!!! They have taken ALL that is SACRED and GOOD and smeared it in DIRT, DUST and STOMPED upon it like dirty elephants in heat!! While I have been able to walk away from the experience, we have yet to determine if I shall LIVE! And if I do live through it would the EMOTIONAL SCARING be too much to carry for the rest of my life? If I was forced to answer at this moment... the answer would surely be NO SeƱor! My only salvation is that there is no formal confirmation of this UGLY act committedd against us...

This morning the coffee on the ferry was REHEATED!!!! How can I be sure you ask?? OHHHHHM, how can I be sure my name is Ale? How can I be sure my parents gave me birth? How can I be sure the freakin' coffee, the one thing that keeps me sane (literally), the one thing upon which my survival on Monday morning (and every morning) rides upon, has been ADULTERATED!!!???? OH, I KNOW!!!!! I can tell any deviation!!! The coffee was reheated- its also possible that the bidons holding the coffee were not rinsed out properly, maybe they ran the hot water over already brewed batch!!!! Any of those are just too painful to even imagine...

I noticed the smell of something fowll as soon as I walked into the cafe salon. Seriously, it literally smelled funny... but I proceeded. I PRAYED it would not be affecting MY coffee cup. I mean, I did not have any other CHOICE!!!! I couldn't walk down a street and get my coffee in a different cafe... I WAS STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!!!!!

I got my cup and even its temperature was too hot... as if they were trying to cover something up by forcing heat into DEAD coffee. I walked with it to the upstairs deck to sit outside. I tasted it... Yep. It was wrong... IT WAS ALL WRONG... I felt it, and panic started rising within me like an invisiblee tsunami about to engulf EARTH! I took deep breaths and tried to stay calm... I took more sips denying the fact that I was committing a huge sacrilegee... I was like a vampire sucking the blood of a dead person... It was like swimming in a sweet water lake instead of the salty ocean... It was like... fake leather shoes!!!!

The only way to keep myself from jumping overboard, I HAD to deny that anything horrible was happening. I HAD TO!!! I denied it and sipped the coffee... I continued sipping it in denial all the way off the ferry, all the way onto the subway, all the way out of the subway, into the first cafe I saw and the moment I got myself a new, FRESH cup of coffee I finally unclenched the hand with the offensive cup and watched it crash to its rightful death into the garbage can. It was over. I sucked on the new coffee like a cactus sucks the depth of the sands in the dessert... I just told myself that the incident never happened. That this new cup of coffee was in fact that first one I got on the ferry... The ONLY one I got this morning... Breathe, concentrate, breathe..

I will now take an advil, because I have a headache from stress and exhaustion...

Lesson to future husband: It doesn't matter how I like my eggs in the morning- JUST DON'T SCREW UP MY COFFEE!!!

p.s: kids, for educational reasons, if you are curious about the Staten Island Ferry and its history click the picture above.

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