What part of "NOW don't you understand??

>> Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Yeah yea yea...

Ok, so yes I am a total snob. I should explain that the reason I was getting all frustrated about shopping is because I hate stores/malls with tons of people around. I would LOVE to be able to shop in an empty mall!! This is partly due to my complete aversion to UGLY people, and partly because I function on New York City time which requires you to move, talk, walk, shop... with fast choppy movements, which is extremely difficult when you have UGLY PEOPLE walking at ELEPHANT SPEED IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (breathe...1,2,3...breathe...1,2,3..)

This makes me SO MAD that my Shimery Tea Rose Petal nailpolish starts to PEEL OF MY TOES!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I realize that I'm the problem since I can't relax and shop at a normally accepted speed but since I am the BELLY-BUTTON of the universe this negates the fact that I can be doing anything wrong... So yeah back to ugly people in my way...

Yeah, I was SO FRUSTRATED that I HAD to drag WallStr (who is as big of a Diva-snob-bellybutton-chick as I am) to the nearest BAR, at a VERY New York City speed and order two HUGE bloodymary's to be inhaled immediately!!! Well as soon as the Bar girl decided to move her A$$ and bring it to us!!!!!!!! Which required me to prompt her to do so a few times... Gosh! and we were simply in New Jersey, close enough to New York, but apparently too far for them to comprehend the concept of "I want my drink NOW!"

Oh, yeah, don't even get me started on the sad use of space that is called New Jersey... Lets talk ROADS! If you've ever driven through New Jersey, you can agree that the ONLY CLEAR SIGN you're going to SEE would HAVE TO COME FROM the ABOVE!!!! Of course we got lost the moment we crossed the bridge. Upon asking people in cars while stopped at a red light, all we got are sympathetic smiles and eyes reverting to the sky as if to say: "You want to get to the mall... well how religious ARE YOU???" Religious!? "Yes, apparently that's the only way you'll see the signs..." Yeah, "beacon of Light" takes on a LITERAL meaning when driving in New Jersey.

I just remember the malls in Irvine, California... Huge, EMPTY, beautiful!! With fountains... and statues of golden angels.... heaven!!!

Oh, just to report, the drinks helped a lot! Nice feeling when you're head and legs go numb...
Oh and eyesight is blurred so you can't see ugly people...

PS kids: drinking to make your problems go away is NOT good! You must FACE your problems then realize the only way to eliminate them is to go to heaven... ok, or Irvine, California.


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