The Viking revelations

>> Thursday, October 6, 2005



Today we will be getting personal with Viking from the neighboring Base13.

First of all, have you ever asked yourselves..."Who-IS-really-this-Viking?? Who IS he?" Well, here at SP HQ we work round the clock to bring you the knowledge (and visuals) that will help you understand...

*Disclaimer: once again this is another immature interview and while the answers to the questions are real and were in fact given by Mr. Viking, they may (and have) been manipulated to accurately achieve evil purposes.*

We will begin with a safe question... after all, this is the mighty Viking that fights godzilas and mothras...

SP: Favorite color?
Viking: Honestly, I have no favorite color. They're all the same to me. I like the right colors in the right places though-- leaves should be green, the sky should be blue, stuff like that. But out of context they're all the same.

(See,Viking doesn't compromise! Basically all the colors better be doing what they're SUPPOSED TO- or else!)

SP: If you were an animal, who would you be and why?
Viking: I'd be a wolf. They're playful and friendly, but intelligent and mysterious as well. All the things I think I am.

SP's editorial addition: wolves are also very loyal in their relationships with their mates and their pack (family). As for mysterious... hmm we'll see HOW much mystery is left after this interview!!

SP: So Viking... TELL us... do you have any special powers? What are they...?
Viking: I'm starting to believe I've got some basic ESP. I wouldn't really call it a super power, being the scientific type. It's more like an advanced awareness of my environment, like my subconscious is over-perceptive. I have a great sense of direction. I can't get lost even if I try. And I never lose anything else. Well, I lost my keys once, but I had a few beers in me, doesn't count. And actually, in the end they were under the couch cushion, exactly where I thought they were, just hiding better than I'd expected. So it really doesn't count.

SP: (AHA! In revealing us his superpowers he also revealed a weakness...take notes- he is not able to get lost... wait, that's sorta a power in a way... uff, I'm confused...and with beer loses focus....)

SP: Tell us Viking what is your favorite drink?
Viking: Coffee. I don't drink it too much these days, so when I do, I can't settle for anything but the best. I can not drink bad coffee. I've tried, but it just won't go down my throat. I don't even try Starbucks anymore. It's a shame, because there's nothing wrong with the Starbucks beans. They're great if you buy them and brew it yourself. But the losers who work at Starbucks are obviously never taught how to make the perfect brew (no offense to the losers who work at Starbucks, but I dare you to prove me wrong). So I go out of my way to find places that do it right. As for specific coffee varieties, my recent favorite is Kenya AA. It's so good, I'm salivating just thinking about it...

SP: I CAN'T agree with you more, on all counts! - Assistants!!!! COFFEE!!!! (notice, assistants- pleural)

SP: Lets talk about Brazil. Now Viking, we know you ar engaged to the beautiful Brazilian garotta, and you obviously 'like the way she turned out'... tell us, have you ever thought what you would be like if you were Brazilian? (again... using immature displacement tactics to have subject reveal more about himself...)

Viking: That's tough... It's the old "nature vs nurture" debate. Genetics vs environment. I believe we're a product of both, but our genes predispose us towards a certain personality. I think I'd be about the same. A better dancer maybe, but mostly the same.

SP: Assistants!!!! ROLL THE FILM!!


Here is Viking playing soccer... Here he is going dancing...

Yep- he does seem the same... Just different clothes, but same Viking.

...Wait a minute, why is he wearing bunny slippers??








SP: Who is your role model?
Viking: I have two that I want to mention for their moral and political stances: Mohandas Gandhi and Albert Einstein. I believe more than anything that violence is the worst possible thing we can do. Violence is nothing more than a temporary way to silence your opponents. It will never lead to peace. It will never make the world a better place.

SP: (note to self: revise my rolemodels... did Marilyn Manroe have a political stance?)

SP: Finally Viking, tell us a deep dark secret!
Viking: I don't really have any secrets... Well, there's one that I've never shared, mainly because people don't need to know it. And because nobody's ever asked. It's one of those secrets that can needlessly affect people's perceptions of you when it really means next to nothing. I wish I didn't know it myself. That is: my IQ. I'll give you a clue, that's all. It can be expressed as the sum of two cubes. Which cubes, I won't say. I just think that's neat :)

SP: Viking such a kidder! Isn't it true that ANY number can be expressed as a sum of two cubes??? (no, seriously, that's a question, numbers mean nothing to me, unless there are dollar signs in front.)

While we all call our grade school math teachers for the answer... I wanted to tell you that I KNOW Viking's deep dark secret: Its his new COAT...

Nice threads Viking! You don't have to be embarassed. And is that shirt missing a button or two?

(and you're STILL wearing the bunny slippers) !!!


**Applause *** and CUT! Assistants!!!! MORE coffee!!!!

So yes, thanks to Viking for being such a sport and giving us a few MORE mysteries to solve about him.

Now lets run through the credits really fast (my Lawers -pleural- demand it).

Cast:
Viking - played by Viking
SP- Played by Ale
Assistants and lawyers - played eachother (get it? haha played each other!!!)
Viking's make-up - Ale
Viking's wardrobe - Elanit (my 6 yr old cousin, and yes, she chose bunny slippers because Viking was too manly and he needed a soft feminine side)

*This has been another immature interview brought to you by SP Global Media LLC, ABC, EFG, Y. Because.)*

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