A glimpse into the future.

>> Sunday, May 15, 2005

I'm sure all of us wonder what the future will bring. Some of us have a pretty good idea since we like to plan, set goals, follow our own time tables. But what about the future that we are not able to predict or even have enough imagination to foresee. What are the kinds of seemingly irrelevant events that may lead us precisely there?

Personally, I'm exactly one of those people that has the rest of her life completely planned. I can even tell you the place of my retirement! I'm like that, I like to plan and make projections and see what steps need to be taken to get there... However, I also accept that I would be out of my mind if I thought that my predictions and forecasts are set in stone and that it is absolutely impossible to come across something that may change the course of your life. In fact, I think that decisions that we make everyday can have a path altering effect... but only if we're open minded enough to let it happen.

With this introduction, I'd like to continue by saying that I love to observe my surroundings and wonder how my certain actions, or lack there of, are changing my life every minute... So, let us go back to last Thursday afternoon, when I was taking the subway to my friend's work for a quick lunch. It was the usual scene, hot, disgusting, full of ugly people. (My plan to introduce the Train "A" and Train "B" has not gone into effect yet.) I was standing as usual with my back to the doors, so I don't have to sit down or actually touch anything, and hoping that the time it takes to ride the 2 stops will pass by as soon as possible.

Then I saw him.

He was beautiful. He was tall, a bit on the thin side. He had olive skin (or maybe it was just the poor lighting in the subway that was giving him a greenish hue). He had the messy hair that I love. Of course he also had a strong nose, Roman nose. He absolutely must have been from Italy. (Trust me I can spot "fellow" italians from at least a mile away.)

He was wearing navy blue sweater with same color shirt underneath. He was wearing dark wool slacks and had on the most undeniably italian leather shoes. The expensive ones, with thinnest shoe laces. (The thinner the shoelaces the more expensive the shoes.) He looked like he was on the train for a while, since his leather briefcase (that perfectly matched his shoes) stood on the floor between his feet. He looked confused as he tried to catch a glimpse of the stop. He had big eyes, green. (Maybe the bad lighting again.)

Of course I was looking at him. He was the tallest on the train and you just can't help but to look at someone that gives you a "familiar" feeling. He must have sensed it too, since he turned and looked right at me. It was a strange look. The look seemed to ask, "Where have we met before? Where do I know you from?" I was looking back at him. How easy it would have been to just walk over and ask him if he was from Italy and if he needed directions... (To my house!)

Now, I know you are are all seating on the edges of your seats and hoping that I went over to the beautiful stranger and told him precisely that.

No. I did not.

Our eyes stayed locked just a bit longer during which time various scenarios flashed past my mind (and I'm sure his also). After that I "dissolved" my stare. Now if you're from NY you know how to do that very well. It is a way of looking at someone and when they catch you doing it, and it would be too obvious to turn your head, you just continue looking right at them, simply SHIFTING your focus from them to something PAST them creating the illusion of looking through them... and that's how you dissolve your stare. (Compared with the "dissolving look", the demure lowering of your eyes is basically a blatant common' since you're admitting that you were in fact looking and them looking back made you nervous.) Well, I didn't even give him the satisfaction to see me look away. Why? Maybe he would have come over himself to ask for directions... (to my house.)

For all of you that are deathly disappointed in me and my lack of action as is inconsistent with the "Primavera" everything is possible motto, not so FAST, I say! Don't worry I will not leave you wondering, agonizing about what could have been... what should have been... I have all your answers right here!

Lets look into the future, from the point of the interlocking of eyes...

His name was Giovanni (it always is). But I lovingly called him Gio (yes, pronounced Joe). I smiled at him, and he immediately came over and asked if I was laughing at his confused look. Sure, sure, I would show him what stop he needed. But that would involve getting out of the train to pick up a map, and with the crowds of people and the guys banging on the drums as they usually do, would make it necessary to come out of the subway and look for a quiet place to sit down. As we walked and walked, we didn't realize the time passing and the fact that we now were on a desolate green street where we sat down on someone's steps and continued talking into the early evening. (Yes I didn't go back to the office that day.)

Fast forwarding...

Gio had to go back to Italy and our long distance relationship began. It was disgustingly romantic, with phone calls, text messages and him visiting once a month and me spending my three day weekends in Europe with him. There were night swims in the Mediterranean, vespa rides on the Greek islands, villa stays in Spain. He was incredibly sweet always making me feel like the center of the universe.

Six months into the relationship, he proposed. I came to his home town and he presented me to his family and friends. I loved them all and they loved me. His mother was especially pleased because I offered for her to live with us when we would get married. (Common, mamma will make us spaghetti, the laundry and capuccinos! I'm totally down for that.)

I was deliriously happy. There was just one tiny little incident that got imprinted into my mind. There was this black haired girl Chiara that we've seen on the main piazza on the other side of the fountain. I will not forget the look that she gave us. Hmm... who was she...

Gio looked sad when I started asking, at first he didn't want to say anything except that she was his ex girlfriend, someone he dated back in Liceo (High school). Finally he broke down and told me the story of Chiara. She was his first. And apparently she had a very hard time getting over the fact that he didn't want to be with her anymore. But that was all in the past, 10 years ago in the past.

I was sad that day. Seeing Gio in his home town confirmed all my thoughts about him. I realized that I was not the only one thinking Gio to be incredibly handsome... I was not the only one to have been loved by his friends and family. There was history, various stories, Chiara, and I'm sure many other girls. I was completely in love, and extremely proud though that it was me that he finally chose. I trusted him completely and plus I knew that it is impossible to control someone. That night as I stepped outside on my balcony to listen to the evening crickets and breathe in jasmine plans, I saw Chiara nd Gio on the bench. She was crying hysterically, and he was telling her something very urgently as he collected her long black hair away from her face.

I trust Gio, I said to myself, and they need to say goodbuy, I'm marrying him in six months. I walked back into the room and closed the balcony doors. (Due to his mother being a strict catholic, Gio and I had to stay in separate rooms. That's what he told me.)

Six months later we were married! It was a huge party and EVERYONE was there... Oh and I forgot to mention that he is rich, the villa we moved into was unbelievable...

Front entrance view


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A blog about finding something beautiful in everyday. Lots of time we forget to do that.

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