The Financial Times, and important and useful publication!

ft

So, since I'm in love and everything is beautiful to me for the moment, yesterday on the subway I saw this gorgeous, GORGEOUS boy. He was about 6'5'', nice built, tanned, blond, hazel-green eyes. In italy they would say: Al bacio! You know, like the expression "al dente" for pasta when its done just right. Well for people its AL BACIO! - you're just right for me to lock lips and breathe in like its my last breath.

Too bad I only looked up to notice him a stop before he had to exit... damit!!!!!!!!!
Reason being is that I was sitting there as usual with my 2 layers of "anti-ugliness" protection*

let me explain:

*two layers of anti-ugliness:

Layer 1- headphones-streaming something loud and obnoxious into my ear. (Maybe an angry Shakira song, or italian communist rap- don't even ask...)

Layer 2- reading material - something involving and emotionally draining like Vogue (yes, the magazine.)

I need at least two layers at all times to combat ugliness that is found throughout the MTA system. Bleeehhhh

At some special times when it smells REALLY bad- as subway always does- I also execute my special weapon... my third layer:

Secret Layer 3 - perfume - Like Gucci Envy (my favorite) - as if to say: "like, I know you all envy me, cus' you wish you had some-- eww, ew-- go away! Stop sniffing me! shoo- shooo!"

Alright, getting of topic...

While layers of protecting may be good, but they do not let ANYthing to permeate! So here was this divine apparition right in front of me and I did not notice him till it was to late to pretend faint into his strong arms... (I hope strong, because it would suck to fall on the GROSS subway floor- ewwww!)

To make sure that nothing like that ever happens again, I am ammending my anti-ugliness protection system and executing a new plan:

carry the Financial Times with me whenever taking public transportation is required!

What!? you say-
Very simple mes petits amis...

Financial Times, or "FT" as I intimately like to call it, is a perfect way to look unavailable to ugly people and at the same time offers fertile ground for good quality pick up lines from pretty preppy boys.

Also FT cleverly has other attributes to constitute a winning publication with which to pick up unsuspecting sexy men on the subway...

1. Pink color- by which guys will recognize you as a highly sophisticated Financial Times reader from a mile away, and which helps to bring out the blush in the cheeks, not to mention it works well with most outfits

2. Compact shape - for easy transport just fold and stick under the arm

I will still wear the earphones to discourage crazy people from talking to me. I will not however, be playing music so that I can be able to focus on my surroundings and when hot guys come in, I can remove the earphones and offer auricular access to my objects of pursuit.

There!

lesson kids: carry the FT with you everyday, it is an important and useful publication!

another lesson kids: there is always a favorable solution to every situation!

one more lesson kids: sometimes life is ugly and sometimes life is pretty, if you guard yourself from ALL the ugly parts, you will miss the pretty parts as well... you don't want to do that.

You're welcome!

Oh, yeah: if you are the boy that I saw on the subway, you know who you are, please email me immediately, I'd like to privately conference with you regarding that artilcle on foreign investments taxation.