>> Sunday, March 20, 2005

Hello beautiful people!

Last night the girls and I went out a little bit. Its been a while since I was out in the Meat Packing district on a weekend and I didn't realize that its completely overrun with completely silly 20 year olds giddy from the fact that they're in NYC!! oooh-aaah! Their huge starry cartoonlike eyes that expose their complete bewelderment and fear is completely unoriginal... It not even funny... Just looking at them and their Maybeline make up, and their colorful Mandy tops that expose way too much skin and not in the right places... makes one squint their eyes! It totaly gave me flashes of them taking the wrong guys back to their tini-tiny apartments after drinking too many little pink cosmopolitans, and the next morning calling all their little friends back in Oklahoma or some other wholesome town and telling them how wonderful NYC is. Really girls! This is not the way to do things... I just wish I could save them 3-4 years of noncense before they inevitably will pack-up and move back to where they came from hopefully not addicted to some drug or carrying some exotic desease... not to mention the credit card debt that they will aquire as soon as some one shows them Sephora and the jean's department at Bloomingdale's.

I suggest you go to these stores immeditaly and realize that if you think spending $150 on a pair of designer jeans is an accomplishment... well why not get a pair right next to them for $300? Look, unless you're a trust fund baby socialite and designer clothes is a part of your "work" uniform... than it is just NOT realistic to make your wardrobe into a meeting ground for Gucci, Prada, and Dolce and Gabbana. (Yes, I know that rhymes.)

So go on... look and educate yourelf. I do however reccomend a trip in the flesh to these stores for the full effect:
http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com or at least...http://www.bloomingdales.com
The one below is apparently for "money concious" younger generation:

So in actuallity, its really NOT about the clothes that you wear. Its about getting rid of that ridiculous "look" of awe on your face! (Which we just discovered -by me telling you- that clothes will not help you to accomplish.) In NY you need to learn fast, and some girls go through quite a few designer jeans and maxed out credit cards to realize that they still don't fit into the NYC "sceen", whatever that may be.

NY is a powerful place where you need to know EXACTLY what you want and what you are trying to accomplish. Otherwise you will become a pray of someone who does. There are only two functions that you can have in NYC: you are either executing YOUR PLAN, or you're helping someone to execute THEIRS!! There is NOTHING in between! You can't just be a "happy go lucky" silly little girl with big Bamby-like eyes just bouncing along the cobble stone streets from one "trendy" lounge to the next... NO! If you do that you WILL be hunted down! (or run over... by a car... or a limo). Seriously, you MUST have a plan of action. And precisely THAT will mold your face to exhibit some sort of glimmer of intgelligent thought. This will convey the message to all the idiot guys that will try to approach you with the hopes of getting you in bed quickly, that you are NOT an easy target and they should NOT annoy you by waisting you time. (...Oh and don't worry, you'll still have plenty of chances to take guys to bed... they will however be the guys that you've chosen, and specifically planned for, and that makes all the difference in the world.) This look will tell bone heads at by the velvet rope to hop on their hind legs and get that door for you; it will tell your parents to never again ask you why they spent $40,000 on your tuition. And probably most rewarding: this look will also tell your Bitch boss lady to move her skinny little ass (or fat ass... we don't discriminate) out of YOUR way because in a year or so YOU will be deciding wheather or not she keeps her job! And for future refference, I like my coffee light and no sugar (since my life is sweet) Thanks!

Now that I've tought you how to live... and I'm not even your mother... I'm totally exausteed!!
You in the mean time, think about what I said, and don't let me catch you at RightAid looking at Cover Girl.


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